Saturday, January 05, 2008
CAESAR, CAIS JULIUS- b 7/12/100/02 bc. family of high office. in every relation in life, he attained apparently without effort to the highest excellence, as a citizen, politician, orator, a geneal, a companion, a man of letters, or organizing statesman. yet not over rated!
entered active life in a time of crisis. a strong national individuality, firmness, and unity of character and purpose had gradually won for rome the supremacy of latium of italy and of the world, but qualities w/ gained him an empire, he was not able to govern it. blah blah blah-in the time of Horace that rome was falling by the weight of its own greatness.
the long struggle between patricians and the plebians for political equality served rather to strengthen than loosen the cohesian of the state. -but nation outside rome could not be assimulated without severe struggle. the equality of the latins-itlains w/ romans might be won by effort of a demogogue(georgie/hitler/napoleon) but could only be assured by an entire change of Govt.(woe in 09)
failure to effect the purposes of govt. had diminished the sense of responsibility in the ruling class(!) Jugurtha had been able to discover that roman virtue was accessible by bribes(tax cuts!) the direction of provinces at once gratified and stimulated the avarice of statesmen. the riches of the world which were beginning to flow into the imperial city excited the desire for more. there existed at the same time the demoralization which accompanies the breaking up and abandonment of old principles(no shit!) of conduct, and an unsettled yearning for the adjustment of pressing difficulties-the senate which had conquered the world was unable to save itself: it could neither recover its former power, nor bring into being a new constitution. it COULD NOT EXERCISE THE ORDINARY FUNCTION OF GOVT WITHOUT ENTRUSTING TO A CITIZEN POWERS WHICH MIGHT BE TURNED AGAINST ITS OWN EXISTENCE.
if rome had perished in their crisis, she would have left but a faint impress upon the nations who owned by sovereignty. the long reign of LAW & ORDER from which we derive the chief legacies which rome had left the modern world was yet to come! the new empire dids not fall before the onslaught of an eastern despot, or break into sseperate provinces due to julius c alone.. the genius and foresight of jc left rome blah blah blah diplomacy blah blah blah taken prisoner by pirates. blah blah blah gaining reputation as an orator. 74 bc. returned to rome and elected pontiff and military tribune.
12 years JC, w/ a short absence in spain as questor was in rome, built up democratic party, in 70 bc the Sullan constitution repealed powers of tribunes restored. that of the senate diminished, control of the courts, which had been abused to sheild from punishment high-born plunderers was divided in the senate. pushed equality to the citizens. 68 lost his aunt and wife. blah blah blah.
lots of bread + circuses under him. 63 bc elected pontifex maximus. head of the state religion.
the conspiracy of catolinenus perhaps been exaggerated by the vanity of cicero; but it threatened serious danger to the state, and it showed the impotence of the roman government at the time. catiline, trying to get best spot for him and his(georgie?). EB poo pooing this. but WE KNOW THIS IS BAD. dec 5,63 he spoke against the execution of the conspirators. JC saw it was bad to break laws to enforce laws. cicero, wanted revenge.
62 JC praetor.
61 at 40 yrs, assumed propraetor and military command and gaining reputation as a great general.
compassion and support of the troops! added to romes riches and his own. canddate for consuleship the next year and serve by proxy, but cato and the senate would not allow it due to law. JC gave up army + became consul. formed alliace w/pompeius and crassus. 1st triumverate. P + C had been enemies and reconciled by JC.
blah blah blahCicero blah blah blahnew wife calpurnia, daughter of Piso.
time of new laws. in 8 years, a free + chivalrons(sp?) people were reduced to absolute obedience new countries absorbed. in 58 2 victories-defeat of antan + helvetin who were leaving switzeland to settle on the atlantic coast + JC pushed them back + germans under Ariovistus + pushed them over the rhine + now the rhine a border, but the belgie still unsubdued. 57 JC attacked the B + scattered them. the nervii made a stand + JC forced to battle like a common soldier, but defeated them aswell and submission of the veneti and coastal cantons. in 56 the veneti rebelled + whole coast joined insurection. JC huried from Italy + disabled them. only the moroni + menapii free of romeDau(?) now contained + JC went after germany. took out the Usipetes and tenchter. built bridge over the rhine and spent 18 days on the other side. same yr 55 his1st expedition to britain, curious + hoping to end this escape for for the celics. B made brave resistance + JC compelled to retreat, rustrated, made extra preperation to attack in 54. was able to get further + crossed the thames,impossed a tribute but unable to subdue it. the gauls revolted in next 2 years. inflamed by the death of daminorix+ inspired by germans and Bs. in 53-52 under princeVercingetorix(?) blah blah blah the final struggle wa over alesia. vercingetorix, took refuge here w/ 90,000 infantry and 25,000 horse. JC had joined his forces w/ labienes + invested the hill on all sides. the masses of the gallic landsturn(?)-oy my hand writing sucks- crowded from all quarters to release their champion. JC became besieged while sieging his genius saved him the provisions of alesia exhausted, JC repulsed the double attack on his lines and V, disdaining to flee, delivered himself into JC's power.
51 bc finally pacifies Gaul. while inGaul, the triumverate in rome was desolving, the 3 members met in Lucca in 50 bc +arranged JCs command in gaul to be 5 more yrs. P +C be elected conuls for 55 bc + and o end of their office, C should have syria + P the 2 spains. sept 54 JCs daughter Julia and Ps wife did. in 53bc crassus slain in Parthia. in 52, P asserting his independence, moving towards cato + prosenate. JC control of army extended to 49. consul in 48. blah blah blah
crossed the rubicon in jan 49. and assinated on ides of march 44. those 5 years, he crushed armies in europe + laid the foundation for imperial power that followed him . barely 15 months in rome, blah blah cleopatra blah blah enlarged the senate. gave all classes representation, anti cronyism. built up libraries. ides of march blah blah blah
RANDOM LOL POST
i actually sent this to my cousin from cue overload, but it has been deleted. and i love the baby puffer. major memory for me and so i love puffer fishes. my grandma F was a excellent decorator and when i was young she had silver/gold/black/white cool wallpaper in the batheroom. it sort of was like metalic granitish looking. and a freeze dried puffer fish hung from the ceiling above the bathtub. and so, i have a plastic disney puffer fish toy. and when i encounter them, i am reminded of a happier time before george. i long for the post A.G. era.
teh(do i have to spell it that way now?) gnews media are a flutter that iowa voted for a BLACK man. obama is 1/2 black. you'd think they had voted for SHAFT the way the gnews talk. obama does NOT look like scary mandingo.
i am not talking about that 'is he black enough BS, but come on, he isn't jesse jackson, he isn't reggie jackson. tho, he might be darker than michael jackson at this point.
obama may want to try O'Bama in the MA primary tho.
RANDOM PLATE TRIP POST
another plane pic. flew from NJ, and i am assuming flew along the northern coast. and over nova scotia and canada. i am wondering if i was seeing the great lakes from above. lots of big water.
Friday, January 04, 2008
RANDOM PLANE TRIP POST
starting a new benedicte trip. this oe to denmark in 03. april 03. right after georgie's grand misstep into messapotmia.
i got up insanely early(5amish) to fly to NYC. landed at la guardia and my uncle hired me a car to take me to JFK cause he didn't have time to see me. had a few hours wait. as i walked into JFK, my barefeet were complimented. i didn't have much to eat, but nibbles and a soft pretzel.
FRIDAY ART BLOGGING
checker DOG. pepper. the golden retriever/dauchsund mutt who lived next door. he was my favorite of their 3. put to sleep. he was getting quite old. and he was a big short boy. loved it when he would get a buzz cut. loved snow.
saw him smiling one day and said. THAT'S IT! that's the face!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
i was polled today. a WI poll about judge elections, tho the young poll chicky did mention it a few times. course i am all for public financing judges. SINCE THE LAST REPUBLIKKKAN BITCH WHO BOUGHT HER SEAT ON THE SC HAD ETHICS PROBLEMS BEFORE THE FUCKING ELECTION. but had more commercials to sway the idjits here.
the poll writing sucked tho. and the chicky had a hard time asking them. 1/2 the time i was confused.
but, i seemed to impress her with my knowledge. but i was the 1st one to mention NPR, when i questioned whether it was news radio. cause it ain't limbaugh and shit.
she said i sounded younger too. maybe it's that blogging i does. hmm. if 40 is old, how old was she?oh crap. i am old! i'm fucking vintage!
RANDOM ART SELLING POST
mainly for elspeth. and whoever. all prints are now $7. this includes shipping. unless overseas. but not much more. AS IF I HAVE OVERSEAS. do i? anyways. i guess easy is to find me on ebay. where i don't sell art yet. but just use advanced search and look for pansypoo. YES, my ebay name too! i snatched it up before ebay was EBAY. and contact me. then i might send you to my art pickle page. but everything will eventually be posted here.
THURSDAY BUTTER STAMP BLOGGING
been throwing these in the blog file and gotta start putting them on. pansypoo really reazlly likes old butter stamps/molds. eventually she will post hers, but she saves the best that ebay sells and she can't afford.
i may not be able to do the password to the stupid apple mail as i don't think i paid to join THAT club. NO BIGGIE, but i accidently erased the stores messaged i had at ebay and it had a retrieval system, but i had to DOWNLOAD a FUCKING microsoft office program and now my desktop font is FUCKED UP and i can't find that program to DELETE IT!
I HAVE BEEN MICROSOFTED!!!! LUDDITE CAN'T HANDLE THIS FUCKING FONT.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
RANDOM PRETTY PIC POST
from astronomy pic of the day. i saw similar clouds once and yes, i got pics. just have to find them. way pre digital.
OH NOES. tom lantos is retiring. ahh, memories of them HUD hearing and tom saying influence peddling in is euro accent. tho he was too pro Gulf war and the terror war.
RANDOM AUNTIE POST
auntie must have been going thru a box. she found some vintage unused cards. auntie is a BIG hallmark/greeting card slave. she loves buying cards. she gave me a blank card and wrote in a hallmarking couplet! gotta ask if she cribbed it, or came up with it herself. should get a job with hallmark.
grandma saved every damn card she ever got. boxes and boxes and boxes of em.
of course, i am more of a shoebox™ kinda person.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
54? more #$@%^ stupid weeks of Bush to go
LAST YEAR LAST YEAR LAST YEAR!!!
and nah nah nah nah hey hey, good BYE loser
54? more weeks of Bush to go
ONE MORE YEAR
oh, by the way, on BBC news show on my radio, economics reporter said the words mini STAGFLATION and depression. not recession. DEPRESSION!
wow, boy that bush boom.
RANDOM WEATHER POST
well, we got a lot of perfect snowman snow. and i passed this on the way to west bend VERY BIG snowman with a FEZ! ok, i know it's a pail, but i am saying it's a fez and i am gonna send it to ataturk.
OH NOES! BLUD!
now, i understand, i have on a FUZZY PINK SOCK, but ever since Mutts comic strip has that cat going nuts over a FUZZY PINK SOCK, all i can think of is this. beware FUZZY PINK SOCKS! hardwood floors and FUZZY PINK SOCKS do not go together. i was in too much pain to take my camera to get a pic without the sock. it was a clean impalement. went in right under my big toe, thru the pad, and out into the arch, so i had about 1 1/2 inch of splinter on the other end. i tried pulling it out. took about 2 hours to get to emergency room, where they had tools to pull it out, and then they flushed the wound. funny seeing it come out the exit. held that hole shut for better cleaning. band aids a script for vicadin. since brett favre's addiction was big news then, i just said no. and, it didn't really bother me.
NOW, the next year, i went to denmark, and since i had sent a pic to benedicte, the kids want to see the scar, but there wasn't much. just a little bump at the exit and a little squished y at the entrance. and 9 years later, there is no scar at all. all i have it the photo, the other pink sock, and the splinter in a biohazard bag on my wall.
SO, socks are far more dangerous than barefeet. especially if they are FUZZY PINK ONES!
Monday, December 31, 2007
RANDOM ROAD TRIP POST
well, at THAT TIME the day we were leaving was the sunday after daylight savings, so i got up early enough to get pictures of the frost and the perfect light.
oh, i forgot to mention that one day we had this freaky iowa southern oscillation weather. strong southern wind and got up to high 70's. very strange. and John Chaffee died. told eivind, e were sitting in their addition. me reading or knitting andf he listening to jazz. and that golfer who died in his oxygenless plane. and the nice abandoned kitty i gave my leftover steak to. stoopid country people, and going to their local antique store called the eggcrate, and and and i got a triangular base heater.....
and i took a pic of benedicte with jeanette and eivind. i always sent them xmas cards. always adding political thoughts.
he and jeanette were married for 59 years. i really liked eivind. he was salt of this earth.
oh, i don't have a good picture, but we took the quick way home on the I. passed a 18 wheeler with tweety-bird strapped to the front grill. drove thru dubuque. very pretty.
RANDOM ROAD TRIP POST
well, one day, we went to Walnut, IA, antigue capital of the world i think they called themselves. lots of little victorian houses and lots and lots of antique shops. i didn't buy anything. tho i do think i got a cheap pair of salt and pepper shakers. visited a polish immigrant woman who benedicte could speak polish with. or was she danish? she was a school teacher and we met her in the close to walnut town she worked.ahh, flashbacks to my childhood going to an early 1900's school house in the outer core of milwaukee, tho when i went, the huge windows were all glass. waz up with illminating 75% of the windows??? tho we had 50's era desks. ahh all that woodwork.
then we took the lady benedicte 'collected' into her very large circle of friends, and drove to Omaha to meet her husband. and we went to the fancy smantsy hotel restaurant for dinner. jeez, nobody told me, i was wearing a blaze orange polar tec top and jeans. but it was halloween, so i was a pumpkin! the sports bar steak was better.
and then we went to the omaha symphony. it was a special beatles thing. had fake beatles for a third and the symphony basically just sat, except for the triangle WHOO HOO! triangle gets to play!!! and 3 who clapped at specific spots.
let's just say, it wasn't my cup o tea.
i have been to the milwaukee symphony. omaha's was maybe a 1/3 of 'ours'. but they were good. i suppose they need help to bring people in. sad.
ANYWAYS. why benedicte was there was to work with the children and they set up a 'program' singing/dancing danish stuff. they built a mockup of ebeltoft, denmark.about 3 1/2 feet high. i thought i scanned that. so i t6ook pictures for benedicte at the program at the museum. i did like this pic of a participant who also watched some of it when he was done.
MONDAY NOT ROADKILL BLOGGING
fat ass pansy. an earl one. i like it, but not a good seller. no idea why not. is it the fuschia?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
RANDOM ROAD TRIP POST
near the end of the week we had 'tea' at a mother and daughter's farm. a rarer 3rd generation danish speaker. ooh, fish paste in a tube! YUM.
NOT!!1! HELL NO! i ain't eating that.
and as you can see it was late october and while we were there, a thunderstorm started, so i go out hoping for pictures of lightning, but settled for barns. which are listed with brass plaques.
RANDOM ROAD TRIP POST
one day after benedicte was done at the museum, we visited a very old woman who was very elderly and had been recognized by the government(can't think of what ya call it) for tatting, or was it lace making, but that's tatting. anyways. smithsonian type stuff. named majeska. could speak danish, so she and benedicte could talk in danish. a lot of the older people in those towns spoke danish. after a while majeska'a daughter/son or grandkid stopped by with their adopted chinese daughter named RUBY. she was very pretty, and i think she was 1/2 caucasian.
and when we left, this is one of my favorite sunsets. and i photoshoped it, but the images are trapped on ZIP DRIVES.
HERE IZ DEH OLD TESTMENT REEDING
1 An teh skyz An teh Urth were finishd, An all teh stufz in dem An Ceiling Cat was liek all tired An stuff. 2 An on teh 7th dai Ceiling Cat got done makingks all dat stuf; An he restd on teh 7th dai cuz he was pooped fum all dat wrking An not liek havng teh holiez. An he not get payd ovrtym either.3 Ceiling Cat blesd teh 7th dai, An sed itz teh h0liez0rz; cuz dats when he restd fum all his werk which Ceiling Cat had creatd An made. Yay Caturday!
4 Iz how teh skyz An Urfs were made, wen Ceiling Cat pwnd.
5 Urfs no can has plantz n treez n catnipz yet, cuz Ceiling Cat no can maek rainz, but iz ok for kittehs DO NOT WANT wetfurz. An ther wuznt ne man 2 mek farmz An stuff; cuz teh clouds were all happie An didnt feel like cryin, wich wuz ok too cuz umbrellaz wuznt inventd yet.6 But teh fogz caem in liek in Frisco An waterd teh ground so teh plantz wud be ok wen Ceiling Cat madez dem.7 An Ceiling Cat madez man out ov teh flore dust, An breathd into his nawstrils teh bref ov lyff, wich was sorta liek doin cpr on a mudpie, but it was ALYV d00d man (v.0.8ß) so it wuz all g00d.
8 An Ceiling Cat plantd garden eastwad, in eden; An ther he put teh man he madez. (i dono how he figurd out it wuz east, cuz ther wuznt any cumpasez yet.)9 An Ceiling Cat madez evry tree dat iz prity, An gud 4 fud; teh tree ov life wuz in teh garden 2, An teh tree ov teh knowledge ov gud An evil. man asked Ceiling Cat 2 makez a cookie tree, An Ceiling Cat made it. but he eated it. (no 1 had thot of cheezburger tree yet.)
10 An a big rivr went out ov eden 2 watr teh garden; An then it splitzd up in2 4 rivrz wth srsly wierd names.11 Teh name ov teh 1th iz pishon (did u sneez? bless u! ): dat one runz around teh whole land ov havilah wich haz a lot ov gold;12 An teh gold ov dat land iz gud (but u cant eatz it): ther iz bdellium An teh onyx stone. (but u cant eatz dat either. An wtf is bdellium?)13 An teh name ov teh 2th rivr iz gihon: dat one runz around teh whole land ov cush wich is vry comfy place.14 An teh name ov teh 3th rivr iz hiddekel: dat one runz in frunt ov Asyria. An teh 4th rivr iz teh euphratez.
15 An Ceiling Cat took teh man, An put him into teh garden ov eden 2 takez care of it cuz Ceiling Cat wuz still pooped and wantedz another dai off.16 An Ceiling Cat sed 2 teh man, ov every tree in teh garden iz ok u eatz:17 But of teh tree of teh knowledge of gud An evil, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tree i 4 sure mek u ded. srsly.
18 An Ceiling Cat said, teh man is alone An dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i will maek him a good help fo him. (i iz good at stuff liek that. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubble.)
19 An out of teh ground Ceiling Cat madez all teh aminals on teh urth An in teh see, An all teh birds up in sky (An sum liek ostridges who cudnt flyz, just 4 fun). (Ceiling Cat is raely good at makingz mud pies. srsly.) An brought them unto teh man 2 c what he would call them: An what teh man called every living aminal, dat was its naim. (if they didnt like it, tuff tamales, they wuz stuck wif it.)
20 An teh man gave names 2 all teh aminals, An 2 teh burdies of sky (An to teh onez who cudnt flyz) An teh aminals in teh see, (so they wudnt feel left out), An to every aminal in teh field; but for man wuznt no good helper fo him, not even ne1 to talk 2 in chatroom.21 An Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fall upon teh man, An he slept; An he took 1 of his ribs, cuz it has a flavr. 22 An Ceiling Cat can haz teh rib frum man maded into wimman, but did not eated it cuz he brot her to teh man. He sai O hai, I maded u a man but wifout teh dingy. Have fun, kthxbai. 23 Teh man saiz,
"Dese bonez is my bonez
an dis meatz are my meatz;
I calz her "whoa man", k
cuz she in ur chest taken ur ribs."
24 So man muv out da basement an lives wif da womenz, an be all u can puts your toofbrush nexta mine an I no eats you.
25 and teh man and teh woman weared invisible clothes! Cause dey had teh secksy.
Peter Heelz a Lamz0r Kitteh, LOL
1 Peter an John are in ur templez, prayin at three in teh daytiem.2 Nao der wuz dis kitteh who wuz all ickeh an deefowmed an him sit at teh gaet dat wuz calleded Bootifool an him wud beg to teh oder kittehs.3 Den him sawded Peter an John an him wuz all, "Awms for teh poow?"4 Den Peter lewk at him an John did too. Den Peter wuz all, "Hey joo, luuk!"5 Lamz0r kitteh gets all happeh cuz him fowt him wud get sum awms.
6 Den Peter sed, "lol, stoopid lamez0r kitteh, I dun haf gowd or silveh, but I haf dis. In teh name ov Baby Jesus, danse!"7 An Peter halpded teh ex-lamez0r kitteh git up an him pawz werkded nao!8 An ex-lamez0r kitteh danse! Him wiggle to teh lef, an to deh rite, an him wiggle fwont an bak. Luuk! Nao him be in teh templez, dancin on teh tabelz!9 Den all the oder kittehs see him,10 Dey were lik, "OMGWTFBBQ?!?!??!! Wuznit dat kitteh dat sit at teh gate callded Bootifool an him begin fo awms?"
 Peter Tawks to Teh Kittehz, John Duz Bakup Vocaws, LOL
11 Teh ex-lamez0r kitteh wuz purrin and kneedin on Peter an John an all teh oder kittehs run ovah to be lik "WTF?"12 Den Peter gose in anoder long speech cuz him lik talkin, an him sed: "Hey jookittehs! Yu are suwpwised? LOL, ur stoopid. Wai yu lukin at us lik we madeded him walk lik diz all on ouwah own? LOL, stoopid!13 Yu kno dat kitteh yu madeded ded wit teh name of Baby Jesus?14 Haha, yu gots pwned. Dood, him wuz Holiez and teh Ritchus Wun, srsly! Insted yu let diz bad kitteh go! LOL!15 Dood, Baby Jesus wuz all lik teh maker of cat macrows, srsly! Dun wry, Ceiling Cat makeded him com back to teh lif!16 An cuz dis ex-lamez0r kitteh haf faif in Baby Jesus dat him heelded! Rly! Yu haf eyez, see?!
17 Nao, is okai. Yu wer stoopid and stufz. Ur alfa kittehz wer stoopid too.18 An dun wry. Ceiling Cat yoosed yu! LOL! Ceiling Cat wuz in ur akshuns, fulfillin profisies!19 Yu rly needz to tern to teh Ceiling Cat an can has reepentz. Him mek yu INVISIBLE ERROR even MOAR INVISIBLE. Rly! Him can do dat.20 An aftah refeshmentz yu can has Messyiah.21 But fo nao Baby Jesus mus stay up in teh Ceiling until Ceiling Cat respawnz everythin.22 Moses sed, 'D00dz, Ceiling Cat gunna mak anoder profit lik meh, an yu bettah be gud kittehs an lissen to him, k?23 If you dunt lissen to him ya not gunna be joocat anymoar, k?'
24 Doodz, all teh profitz startin wit Samuel tawkded abowt deez dayz. LOL25 Yu guyz heer tooday ar hairs to teh profitz an ov teh covonent God mad wit ur foderz. Ceiling Cat sed to Abraham, 'Ur kittenz, Iz gunna bless teh Urf wit dem, k?'26 So wen Ceiling Cat mak his sewvant him send him to yu furst so yu get cheezburger furst, srly! Yu can tern frum INVISIBLE ERROR!"
John Teh baptizt preepairs teh wai?
1 In dem dayz caem John Teh Baptizt, preachin in teh wilderness of Judea,2 And sayin "ZOMG, Kingdom Of Heven am at hand! Repent!3 For dis is he dat teh profet Esaias was speekin of, sayin Teh voice of teh one cryin in teh wilderness, Prepare teh way of teh Lord guise, make his pats strayt.
4 And teh saem John was wearin camul hair and leather pantz; and he eated bugs and hunny.5 Den he went out to Jeroozlem and Judea and all round Jordan6 And he baptized ppls in teh Jordan, and dey told ther Invizable Errors to him an Ceiling Cat
7 But wen he saw teh Fairy-sees and Saddu-sees com to his baptizm, he sayed "J00 snaky n00bs, who warned j00 to flea teh wrath that am comin?8 If ur all rly sorry, do teh gud stuff Ceiling Cat told u 2 do!9 And dont tink dat j00 has Abraham as j00r dad, cuz Ceiling Cat cud maek dese stones into kiddies of Abraham10 And now teh axe pwns teh rute of teh tree, and all teh trees dat dont make leet fruitz get pwnd and burninated
11 For srsly, I baptize ppls wit water, but teh next gai dat comin, and he so leet I cant even has his shoos: he gonna baptize ppls wit fire and teh Holey Ghostie!12 He gonna get all teh weet and put it in teh weet house, and he gonna burninate teh straw thats left ovar with teh leet fire of pwnage!
Teh baptizum of Jesuz!
13 Den Jesus caem from Gallalee, to has baptizm from John14 But John was all "Ur doin it rong, j00 needz to baptize me"
15 And Jesus answered sayin "STFU and baptize me n00b" and John did.
16 Wen he was baptized he gtfo of teh water and, ZOMG, teh ceilinz opened up and teh Spirit of Ceiling Cat caem down liek a duv and landeded on him17 And, ZOMFGWTF, a voice from heven sayed "Hai guise, dis my son, and I tink he teh leet"