pansypoo's personal rant page.

DAY 2-part 2

we got up there a little late, so keith drives to the fair site. very neat park, and gets his info and finds his space. unloads his stuff. quick set up. pots under table. no tent. then to his usual motel. high on a hill. well, that super 8 doesn't suck.
then go hunt for someplace to have din din. drive around. chinese? maybe. hmm, italian place with cuisine in the name. that can't be bad. keith doesn't think the door i point out is the front door. turns out is was and we walk through a wedding reception or something. or maybe through another dinningroom. oops. i don't mind cause who is gonna look at me when i'm next to him?
have a very nice dinner. and ooh, they have lunch portions. i eat a lot, but not in one sitting. you could say this was our 'first date'. we never really dated. and i liked that. and it was so comfortable. like we were a couple, not at the beginning of what it could have been.
went back to motel. got ready for bed and such. took shower. so did he. and watched weather channel, flipped. he stopped at monster garage? that stupid motorcycle show on TLC. at least they were making it to match an old 50's car. that gave it a little more interest. then i think we watched duck soup. or it was bill maher.
i was too hyped to sleep well. around 2 or 3, keith sat up straight, dreaming or something. i never found out what. can't remember if i asked. did i mention it was a double room? now i wish it had been one bed.

day 2-part 1
keith up before me. get up and while he is in bathroom, i make coffee. iced coffee. already hot of course. keith gives me a squeeze and thanks. aw, it's only iced coffee.
well, i suggest going to our bakery for something to eat and take with us. put my crap in van. after bakery, i have another suggestion. wanna go to an estate sale? 1/2 price! treasure traders. they are good.
got there before 10am when it opens. look in dumpster. i see a mexican painted box top. keith, can you reach that? he could! i loved it. handpainted. i collect mexican tourist ceramic critters with the same paintings.
keith explores it more and drags out 2 dental books. ooh, pathology has some gruesome pics. threatens to toss them back in. NOOooooo. ebayable!
got in the house. not much at all. i got some little faux greek/roman pots, no idea why and an old leather dog collar, which makes an interesting ankle bracelet. best object to me was the mexican box top. and free.
i am still airing out the dental pathology. my oh my, amazing what can be connected to oral.
it would have been 'our' coffee table book. a gruesome one. i still won't part with it. but now i can never tell him what i have found in it.

was watching PBS and african animals and birth and i can only think of keith. he loves that stuff and if only i was watching it with him.

so, on our way then to marquette. play tapes i packed. munch on bakery. talk.

stop for lunch at schriner's. a place my grandpa always stopped at on the way back from up nort or sometimes breakfast, on the way up.
fuck them, they changed they're excellent salisbury steak for a heart attack on a plate! a lot of elderly people eat there!
so disappointing. but coffee good. and boy did i use suger packs. on salad(oil and vinegar dressing on salad). in coffee. musta used at least 12.

keith gets lost in Peshtigo, tells me about pe shit go.
and then there it is, lake superior. ahh, marquette.

well, i know why they missed the vein in the execution in FL. i have had to have blood drawn and they always have a hard time. and i once had to have a steroid infusion and i was poked 3 times, no vein.
had to give me a 'spa' treatment with a how wet towel. i needed to be hydrated. i bet the condemmed needed to drink something. or all he needed was a spa treatment.
i sure hope he was guilty.

yeah, i suppose i should drink more.

marquette trip.
DAY 1-part 1

that year, the first time i had seen him since the year before at madison. i said i would hel him at marquette, Mich show. i'd never been to lake superior. i mailed him a card with directions. luckily it is easy to find off the highway. avenue has it's own exit.

it was hot. as usual i had on a sleeveless shirt. i waited for him on the steps to the sidewalk after he called to say he was getting off 1-94. i was full of excitement and, well, just,....

he drove up. got out and we hugged. oh i was thrilled. he had to park in back of the house. told him to go to alley and i would help park his biiig white van. he managed to squeeze it in. between neighbor's garage and ours. and then he came in. i had saved him some sweet corn and had salad stuff. offered him nectarine/blueberry tarts. why didn't he eat my tarts? never said.
he, it felt so strange to have him in the house. first time he held my foot. i showed him some afican bits i had just found at estate sales and some old ceramic jugs he gave me answers on. i did some puting and showed him some stuff. which was on the diningroom floor due to an ELECTRIC issue i found out. i also had my uncle jazz bass in case on the floor. was thinking of ebaying. keith took it out and boy did he look impressive.

sadly the only place for him to sleep at that time was the couch. no A/C and it can be loud. as i found out his bedroom is very very quiet. and we have lots of motorcycles. i puted a bit. he watched teevee with aunt.

day 1.

1st, the nice bits of today. went to the biedermeier exhibit at the milwaukee art museum. finally got into the white addition. way cool, but i sooooo wish keith was with me, he would have loved all the objects. did a bit of the rest of the stuff. much different from when i spent time there as a art student.
i think i mentioned i don't like to wear shoes. well, they made me wear them, but as i waited at the cool round glass elevator, sans shoes, a little boy on a stroller (2ish) looked at me, looked at my feet, looked at me, looked at my feet, looked at his feet. looked at me. i couldn't help smiling.

i don't know if the card from keith's mom was so nice, as i have been crying off an on since opening it after dinner. i had asked her if she sould send me copies of pictures that were taken at Marquette after the dinner we had. may get farmer to post it. it's the only photos of us together. it's kind of weird because the sidewalk slopes down steeply behind us and i am hanging on to the lightpost. and it just makes me cry for that time we had. and never being there again with him.

109? Bushit weeks to go
109? Bush weeks to go
georgie says his plan is success, the ISG says its a rout
sorry america, georgie will never let the US get out
109? Bushit weeks to go

another bad day.
sick of puter, so i went to the basement to work on the iowa painting i started. the tree came quick. as did the top corn.
when i paint like a knitter. i don't paint all over. i suppose that is 'wrong'. but, i either start in the back to the foreground, or foreground back. i don't plan ever on space in paintings, but it usually just happens. maybe cause howw i paint.
it gonna be another depressing one i suppose. was the 1st iowa painting depressing?

well, to continue. in 2004, keith got into madison fair on the square. BEEEG show. i have been in twice. both times with roadkill. well, i said i would help him. but when he called, i forgot the fucking cell and i was out in west bend. so that other woman, who he said was a vice-principle(i think she wanted him) helped him.
but i drove out to madison, stayed with my counsin and went down around 11 to see him. stayed most of the day there. he wasn't selling as well as he does with pots, and i told him welcome to 2-D world. later i gave him some set-up advice, not sure if he listened. told him to come to my cousin's for some cheesecake. but the greese laden potato things he got or his dinner gave him a stomach ache. i TOLD him he shouldn't eat the greasy crap.
i shared my saltines and we had a nice time. showed him my 'air-conditioning'. it was quite warm behind his tent. i get my hair and shirt wet. he had gained weight from beer and bad eating after his sister died. he was thicker than i remembered. but still keith. not fat. but not as thin. bad food and beer does that i guess.
we talked about marquette. that was the one i missed. sigh.
i came back on sunday, couldn't stay as long. he hugged me as i left from behind and i did reach up my hand and got his head.
sadly the only time i saw him that year. but letters and calls we did. i prefered letters. i am not good at calling, buit when he did we would just talk. first time i felt at ease doing fone. not that i had many calls.