Saturday, January 19, 2008
RANDOM ANIMAL POST
is the cat strangling the invisible georgie?
RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA POST
CALCUTTA-very brit. blah blah blah.
CALENDAR- a method of distributing time into periods adapted to the purposes of civil life blah blah blah latin-dies solis, dies lunae, dies martis, dies mercurii, dies jovis, dies veneris, dies saturni. saxon-suns day, moon's day, tiw's day, woden's day, Thor's day, friga's day, seterne's day. saxon or norse? tiw, woden, thor, and friga scandanavian god's. blah blah blah biblical calendar blah blah blah easter blah blah blah jews, blah blah b;ah. MATH, hebrew calendar. blah tables MATH mahmetan calendar(all have short february?!?-with no fucking explaination WHY!!!)
CALCUTTA-very brit. blah blah blah.
CALENDAR- a method of distributing time into periods adapted to the purposes of civil life blah blah blah latin-dies solis, dies lunae, dies martis, dies mercurii, dies jovis, dies veneris, dies saturni. saxon-suns day, moon's day, tiw's day, woden's day, Thor's day, friga's day, seterne's day. saxon or norse? tiw, woden, thor, and friga scandanavian god's. blah blah blah biblical calendar blah blah blah easter blah blah blah jews, blah blah b;ah. MATH, hebrew calendar. blah tables MATH mahmetan calendar(all have short february?!?-with no fucking explaination WHY!!!)
RANDOM DENMARK POST
one day benedicte took us to arhus for an art show at an old army stable. pretty fancy for horsies. it was a very neat space.
RANDOM HINT OF WHAT'S TO COME ON SATERDAYS POST
after the biffy's. schlitz.
Friday, January 18, 2008
RANDOM MINI RANT- a rant!
so, georgie wants a TEMPORARY stimulous package, but his tax cuts to THE RICH, he wants permanent.
asshole.
so, georgie wants a TEMPORARY stimulous package, but his tax cuts to THE RICH, he wants permanent.
asshole.
RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA POST
CAIRNES, John Elliot-b 1824-1875 important politcal economist. blah blah blah.
CAITHNESS-most northern county of scotland.(mainland)-history. pict houses and norwegian names and danish mounds prove celtic past. stone circles and romanist chapes.
CALCAR/KALCKER, john de- b. 1499-1546. painter. desciple of Titian
CALCULATING MACHINES- mathmaticians and astronomers have felt in all ages the irksomeness of the labor of making necessary calculations , and this has led to the invention of various devices for shortening it. MUCH blah blah blah.
i actually have an old metal pocket one from the 30's or so. WITH instructions.
CAIRNES, John Elliot-b 1824-1875 important politcal economist. blah blah blah.
CAITHNESS-most northern county of scotland.(mainland)-history. pict houses and norwegian names and danish mounds prove celtic past. stone circles and romanist chapes.
CALCAR/KALCKER, john de- b. 1499-1546. painter. desciple of Titian
CALCULATING MACHINES- mathmaticians and astronomers have felt in all ages the irksomeness of the labor of making necessary calculations , and this has led to the invention of various devices for shortening it. MUCH blah blah blah.
i actually have an old metal pocket one from the 30's or so. WITH instructions.
RANDOM SQUIRREL POST
stolen from corrente-old building. kudos to farmer.
ALL UR SKWIRLS BEELONG TO ME!
RANDOM DENMARK POST
spotted this graffiti on the way back to the van after dinner, and i found it amusing that it used the proper vowel. they have this a with a dot å there.
now, i spotted the grandmotherly sculpture holding a chicken earlier. with the NO WAR graffiti. this all in arhus. well, we ate at a lebanese place, about when it was closing. had ebough left at the buffet. had this bread with seeds on it. very interesting flavor. had to ask. what were the seeds. zucchini seeds! very good bread. well. we are eating and i notice this man, holding a bottle, yelling at the NO WAR sculpture. i told benedicte and her daughter and we watched him harangue on and on. we weren't sure if he was pro war, anti-war, hated his mother. but entertainment with the meal.
FRIDAY ART BLOGGING
pissed cosmo 2. because i like the colors i painted cosmo. alizarin crimson and yellow green.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
RANDOM PACKER POST
packer nun.Double blessing for one of Lambeau's faithful
Posted: Jan. 15, 2008
Jim Stingl
The Cowboys' loss is Sister Sean Marie Tobin's gain.
The nun won an essay contest that put her at midfield for the coin toss before last Saturday's Packer game at Lambeau Field.
Here's what the fine print says: "The winner will be asked to repeat his or her duties for a second home playoff game, if applicable."
Well, it's applicable, baby. While the top-seeded Cowboys clean out their lockers, the Packers are hosting the New York Giants this Sunday for the NFC crown and a trip to the Super Bowl.
And Tobin is returning to the tundra to do it all over again. The Packers on Tuesday FedEx'd two more free game tickets to the Holy Family Convent in Manitowoc.
Tobin, 68, belongs to the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity, and she's led them on field trips to watch the Packers practice. Former head coach Mike Sherman once visited the convent and personally bought the sisters a bigger TV after he saw the small set they used to watch the games.
Tobin's driver and companion for Sunday's game will again be Sister Anne Turba, also from Holy Family.
As Honorary G-Force Captain, Tobin was Lambeau royalty Saturday. And she wasn't shy about using her bully pulpit as she joined Brett Favre, Donald Driver, Aaron Kampman and Nick Barnett on the field to face Matt Hasselbeck and the other Seattle Seahawks.
"I just said today the ball is ours. You're not going to get it, Matt," she said. "That tickled Favre, and he got this big grin."
Tobin explained in the essay that her love for Packers football was instilled in childhood by her father, Bernie Tobin. She was born in Milwaukee and went to Mount Mary College before joining the convent in 1960.
The last game she attended with her father was the Ice Bowl. I know, everyone claims they were at that game, but she's a nun so I believe her.
"This game was a challenge. I was stuffed, long habit and full garb, into a sleeping bag up to my nose, and almost bunny-hopped over the bleachers on the last play," she says in her entertaining entry that beat out some 5,000 other hopefuls. It helps that she used to teach English in school.
"If the game had lasted any longer, my fingers would have been permanently stuck to my rosary beads."
Their seats that day were at the 50 yard line, coincidentally very near where she and Turba sat last Saturday. Their seats this Sunday are indoors because of the expected cold temperatures.
Turba said Tobin got a rock star welcome from the crowd. The sisters had packed sandwiches for the game, but tailgaters freely offered whatever they were eating. Fans posed with her for photographs, cheered as she made her way to her seat, and wiped their car clear of snow after the game.
"They started chanting MVP for her. She said this is getting a little embarrassing," Turba said.
Tobin didn't like that the crowd booed Mike Holmgren when he was introduced, and she wasn't crazy about the two early Packer fumbles. But mostly it was a magical snowy postcard of a day. The G-Force Captain pulled a plastic trash bag over herself to stay dry, and she huddled under the Packers blanket she sleeps with each night.
She prays for the players' safety in this violent game, but never for a win. "I think the Lord has bigger things to do," she said.
Not to diminish the surging Giants, but Tobin is predicting a Packer win Sunday. "I really think the Packers are going to the Super Bowl," she said.
From her lips to God's ear.
RANDOM HOARD POST
this sort of relates to the danish post below. this is a pot i got from dorthe's parents junk shop. very mid-century. but just like the orange. i wish i coulda showed it to keith. maybe he looks at my blog.
RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA POST
gotta do more of these as my notes are piling up.
CAGOTS-people found in the basque provinces, bearn, and gascony. in middle ages looked upon as cretins(retards), lepers, heretics, and even cannibals. excluded from all political and social rites and not even allowed into church, exceept thru a special door. no mass! had to wear distinctive clothes. in some place, an attached foot of a duck or goose(whence they were sometimes called canards). 'untouchables'. barefoot in the common road. only trades open was butcher and carpenter and usually woodcutting. language was corrupted of the local one. blue eyed and fair. high cheekbones. prominant noses w/ big nostrils. straight lips and marked absence of the auricular lobes, decendants of the visigoths.
gotta do more of these as my notes are piling up.
CAGOTS-people found in the basque provinces, bearn, and gascony. in middle ages looked upon as cretins(retards), lepers, heretics, and even cannibals. excluded from all political and social rites and not even allowed into church, exceept thru a special door. no mass! had to wear distinctive clothes. in some place, an attached foot of a duck or goose(whence they were sometimes called canards). 'untouchables'. barefoot in the common road. only trades open was butcher and carpenter and usually woodcutting. language was corrupted of the local one. blue eyed and fair. high cheekbones. prominant noses w/ big nostrils. straight lips and marked absence of the auricular lobes, decendants of the visigoths.
RANDOM DENMARK POST
one day. dorte, a woman who had joined the tante andante hus, while benedicte was up north, or in copehagen, took me to her parents house. did my only shopping in her old shop attached and their 'junk' shop. got some interesting things. my kind of shopping. got a bunch of amber encrusted hedgehog fridge magnets. and her parents had CATS! and KITTENS. ooh, i needed that. the big cat enjoyed my attention. the mommy cat is deaf and they had to find the kittens for her to do her job. about 3 or 4 weeks old here. so cute.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
RANDOM WWI POST
gibbons was discussing little necessary little thefts. taken cheeses before paid cause the train was leaving, but the talked of a troop train stopped at a little station. 6 soldiers with cold hands and feet got off and there was a large square stove, red hot, in the middle. one soldier stood on another's shoulders, detached the pipe. at the same time , 2 others placed poles under the stove, they lifted it off and walked away with it.
put it on their train car and stuck the pipe out the door. they had a nice toasty train ride.
the govt was charged 400 francs for the stove and 11 fr. for the coal inside.
the only theft to top the stove was a hive full of honey, plus all the bees inside. the bees covered the punishment.
gibbons was discussing little necessary little thefts. taken cheeses before paid cause the train was leaving, but the talked of a troop train stopped at a little station. 6 soldiers with cold hands and feet got off and there was a large square stove, red hot, in the middle. one soldier stood on another's shoulders, detached the pipe. at the same time , 2 others placed poles under the stove, they lifted it off and walked away with it.
put it on their train car and stuck the pipe out the door. they had a nice toasty train ride.
the govt was charged 400 francs for the stove and 11 fr. for the coal inside.
the only theft to top the stove was a hive full of honey, plus all the bees inside. the bees covered the punishment.
RANDOM DENMARK POST
one day, early in my time there, we had a fluffy big flake snow flurry. this windmill was up the hill, next to the tante andante hus. it got to about 2-3 inches. we visited benedicte's parents later. i made the whole day barefoot tho.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
52?
52? more %@$# Bush weeks to go
52? more horrible Bush weeks to go
georgie goes to arabia, gets swords, furs and bling. oh my!
georgie also says he is feeling fiesty. OH MY!
52? more @%#$&^%*(&$@# Bush weeks to go
52? more horrible Bush weeks to go
georgie goes to arabia, gets swords, furs and bling. oh my!
georgie also says he is feeling fiesty. OH MY!
52? more @%#$&^%*(&$@# Bush weeks to go
RANDOM DENMARK POST
ebeltoft has this store called qvickley's (sp?) like a pick & save. has clothes, toys, food. just about everything. BUT i looked over and over for hydrogen peroxide so i could clean my ears and couldn't find it. you have to go to an actual pharmacy! for HP???
benedicte's husband at the time took me into the old section of ebeltoft.
and pic of the original town hall. i got a post card that celebrated the towns 700th anniversary in 2002. so it was settled in 1302. wow.
TOESDAY
well, looks like i gotta stay with packer green. and it is gonna be COLD at the game. oof. 5 on fri? but not -30. so nice of the cowpies to lose to make another packer game possible.
Monday, January 14, 2008
RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA POST
CAGLIOSTRO, Alessandro Count 1743-1794) arch imposter, born at Palermo Joseph Balsamo. rudientary education, employed to read to monks during dinner. scandalized them by repeating the names and detailing adventures of the most notoriously profligate females of his native town. expelled from the convent and disowned. Signalized himself ingenuity as he contrived to commit crimes w/out detection. forgery, robbery, and finally murder, which he went to trial for, but escaped by bad evidence. on release, engaged a goldsmith to help find treasure, paying 60oz of gold for expences. on getting to cave, joseph, treasure was 6 devils, prepared beforehand, attacked goldsmith and beat him unconscious. left sicily, to greece, egypt, arabia, persia, rhodes(where he studies alchemy), malta, naples, rome, and venice. at rome married a beautiful, but unprincipled woman, w/ whom he traveled w/ underseveral names, through europe. In strassburg, made $ saying he could make the old young, helped by wife, lorenza feliciani who tho 20, declared she was 60 and had a sone in the dutch army, in paris he was implicated in the affair of the diamond necklace; and tho he escaped conviction by his impudent defence, he was imprisoned for other reasons in the bastille. on his liberation he went to england, where he succeeded well at first, but outwitted by some lawyers and confined for a while in the fleet. then back to europe and to rome, where he was arrested in 1789. tried and condemned to death for being a freemason, but sentence commuted to life. died in fortress prison of san leo in 1795. best account of his life in carlylse's miscellanies. damas's novel-memoirs of a physician, based on his life.
CAGNOLA, Luigi Marquis 1762-1833. b in milan, intended for law, but at 14, while at clementine college in rome, his passion for architecture too strong. in 1806, designed a triumphral arch for eugene beaucharnais's marriage to the princess of bavaria was to be wood, but so beautiful-done in marble-the arc de l'etoile in paris. also Porta di Marengo in Milan, the campanile at urgano and the chpel at santa marcellina in milan.
CAGLIOSTRO, Alessandro Count 1743-1794) arch imposter, born at Palermo Joseph Balsamo. rudientary education, employed to read to monks during dinner. scandalized them by repeating the names and detailing adventures of the most notoriously profligate females of his native town. expelled from the convent and disowned. Signalized himself ingenuity as he contrived to commit crimes w/out detection. forgery, robbery, and finally murder, which he went to trial for, but escaped by bad evidence. on release, engaged a goldsmith to help find treasure, paying 60oz of gold for expences. on getting to cave, joseph, treasure was 6 devils, prepared beforehand, attacked goldsmith and beat him unconscious. left sicily, to greece, egypt, arabia, persia, rhodes(where he studies alchemy), malta, naples, rome, and venice. at rome married a beautiful, but unprincipled woman, w/ whom he traveled w/ underseveral names, through europe. In strassburg, made $ saying he could make the old young, helped by wife, lorenza feliciani who tho 20, declared she was 60 and had a sone in the dutch army, in paris he was implicated in the affair of the diamond necklace; and tho he escaped conviction by his impudent defence, he was imprisoned for other reasons in the bastille. on his liberation he went to england, where he succeeded well at first, but outwitted by some lawyers and confined for a while in the fleet. then back to europe and to rome, where he was arrested in 1789. tried and condemned to death for being a freemason, but sentence commuted to life. died in fortress prison of san leo in 1795. best account of his life in carlylse's miscellanies. damas's novel-memoirs of a physician, based on his life.
CAGNOLA, Luigi Marquis 1762-1833. b in milan, intended for law, but at 14, while at clementine college in rome, his passion for architecture too strong. in 1806, designed a triumphral arch for eugene beaucharnais's marriage to the princess of bavaria was to be wood, but so beautiful-done in marble-the arc de l'etoile in paris. also Porta di Marengo in Milan, the campanile at urgano and the chpel at santa marcellina in milan.
RANDOM DENMARK POST
i won't clog the blog with all the architecture pics i took. just the best of the best. like most excellent doors. i just loved the doors. and the hardware. these are from arhus. the river thru the 'old' town. the dearth of trees disturbed me. even our downtown has trees. at least planters.
MONDAY ROADKILL BLOGGING
flying squirrel-pen£nik
sold in eagle river to a guy who got freaked by one. used to have them at the cottage feeder. very soft. i have pics. just have to find them. soooooo cute.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
RANDOM VERMIN POST
raccoons are one of my favorite animals. it goes back to when i was a kid.
RANDOM AUNTIE POST
well, you know how schysters and therir prey on the old, stupid, and greedy.
well, apparently, someone called autie the other day saying they were from the M&I branch of banks and they needed her bank #. she told them branches are on trees and hung up.
while we were there today, somebody called and said aunti had won something, but they needed her number. auntie said she had their number and hung up.
i guess you can see why auntie was married 5 times.
well, you know how schysters and therir prey on the old, stupid, and greedy.
well, apparently, someone called autie the other day saying they were from the M&I branch of banks and they needed her bank #. she told them branches are on trees and hung up.
while we were there today, somebody called and said aunti had won something, but they needed her number. auntie said she had their number and hung up.
i guess you can see why auntie was married 5 times.
RANDOM DENMARK POST
crooked tavern. tho, i think different name, but similar maybe. 2 of them in ebeltoft. i did go in one. taint off kilter inside unfortunately.
TEH LOL OLD TESMENT REEDIN
GENEESUS 4-
Cain an Abel
1 An teh man told his wife "We gun have kidz" An eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; An she is has teh kid cain, An said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Ceiling Cat, but he kinda mean 4 makin' it hert so bad.2 An again she is has his brothr abel. An abel wuz keepr ov teh moocows, but cain wuz farmr cuz he was part mexican.3 An after awhile cain brought sum ov teh froots ov teh ground 4 an offerin unto Ceiling Cat, cuz he just got off Atkins.4 An abel, he also brought teh first meets ov his moo cows (An ov teh fat of em cuz teh moo cows are on Atkins.) An he made teh 1st cheezburger An gaev it 2 Ceiling Cat.
An Abel gaev to Ceiling Cat his Pokemans. An Ceiling Cat liekd abel An his fudz An his pokemans5 But cain An 2 his offerin he had no liekd. An Ceiling Cat sed, do not want. cuz u didnt makez cookies out ov it, An besiedz u didnt bringz me any catnipz. An cain wuz mad, An got all liek sad An stuff.
6 An Ceiling Cat said unto cain, y is u be so pissed off? An y iz u all liek sad An stuff?7 If u do gud, isn't it gun go up? An if u doest not well, sin croucheth at teh door: it wants to has you, but you hafta maik it go away.
8 An cain told abel his brothr wot happnd. An 1 day when they were out in da field, cain got all up in abels face, An totally pwnzd him.
9 An Ceiling Cat said "cain, where iz abel?"
An cain sed, "i dono. xqz me i iz not camping abel all teh time."
10 An he said, wat u do? teh voice ov thy brothr's blood crieth unto me fum teh ground. (Ceiling Cat haz totally xlnt hearing An stuf.)11 An nao cursd art thou fum teh ground, which hath opend its mouth 2 receiv thy brothr's blood fum thy hand;12 When yous plowen teh urth, it bes all hard an stuffz; fugitiv An wanderr shalt thou b in da urth. An its gonna sux cuz therz no united farmwrkr union yet.
13 An cain said unto Ceiling Cat, meh punishment iz greatr than i can bear.14 Behold, u kickban me from teh urth; An killfiled me; An i has no guild or clan or nothin; an' i'm KOS with everyone, even n00bs will pwnz me.
15 An Ceiling Cat said unto him, therefore whosoevr pwnz cain, i will pwnz him 7x. An Ceiling Cat appointd sign 4 cain, sos no1 findin him should pwnz him.16 An cain went out fum teh presence ov Ceiling Cat, An dwelt in da land ov nod, on teh east ov eden.
17 An cain knew his wife (but ther waznt any grrrlz yet xcept his mom, so must b sum othr kind of mirakel but Ceiling Cat is totally 1337 wen it comez 2 mirakels liek makin more grrrlz. Srsly); An she is has teh kid enoch: An cain buildd city, An calld teh name ov teh city, aftr teh name ov his son, enoch.18 An unto enoch wuz born irad: An irad is has teh kid mehujael: An mehujael is has teh kid methushael; An methushael is has teh kid lamech.
19 An lamech took unto him 2 wivez (c i told u Ceiling Cat cud makez more grrrlz!!!1!): teh name ov teh 1 wuz adah, An teh name ov teh othr zillah.20 An adah is has teh kid jabal: An he An his kidz got to campz out in tents liek it wuz vacayshun but they had to chase after all teh moocows An sheeps an stuff so maybe it wasnt that much fun after all.21 An his brothr's name wuz jubal: An he An his kidz maded all the tunez An stuff An invented the ipod, (wifout lectricity or nuthin, Ceiling Cat waz gettin rael good at doin mirakels).22 An zillah, she also has teh kid tubal-cain, An he An his kidz maded all teh knifes An swordz An razrbladez An other sharp metal stuf: An teh sistr ov tubal-cain wuz naamah.
23 An lamech said unto his wivez,
"adah An zillah, hear meh voice;
ye wivez ov lamech, listenz unto meh speechs.
4 i has pwn3d sum d00d 4 woundin me,
sum young d00d 4 bruisin me:
24 If cain shall b avengd 7x,
truly lamech 77x."
25 An adam knew his wife again; An she is has teh son, An calld his name seth. 4, said she, Ceiling Cat gaev me anothr kid instead ov abel; 4 cain pwnzd him.26 An 2 seth, 2 him also thar wuz born son; An he calld his name enosh. den began men 2 call upon teh name ov Ceiling Cat.
GENEESUS 4-
Cain an Abel
1 An teh man told his wife "We gun have kidz" An eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; An she is has teh kid cain, An said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Ceiling Cat, but he kinda mean 4 makin' it hert so bad.2 An again she is has his brothr abel. An abel wuz keepr ov teh moocows, but cain wuz farmr cuz he was part mexican.3 An after awhile cain brought sum ov teh froots ov teh ground 4 an offerin unto Ceiling Cat, cuz he just got off Atkins.4 An abel, he also brought teh first meets ov his moo cows (An ov teh fat of em cuz teh moo cows are on Atkins.) An he made teh 1st cheezburger An gaev it 2 Ceiling Cat.
An Abel gaev to Ceiling Cat his Pokemans. An Ceiling Cat liekd abel An his fudz An his pokemans5 But cain An 2 his offerin he had no liekd. An Ceiling Cat sed, do not want. cuz u didnt makez cookies out ov it, An besiedz u didnt bringz me any catnipz. An cain wuz mad, An got all liek sad An stuff.
6 An Ceiling Cat said unto cain, y is u be so pissed off? An y iz u all liek sad An stuff?7 If u do gud, isn't it gun go up? An if u doest not well, sin croucheth at teh door: it wants to has you, but you hafta maik it go away.
8 An cain told abel his brothr wot happnd. An 1 day when they were out in da field, cain got all up in abels face, An totally pwnzd him.
9 An Ceiling Cat said "cain, where iz abel?"
An cain sed, "i dono. xqz me i iz not camping abel all teh time."
10 An he said, wat u do? teh voice ov thy brothr's blood crieth unto me fum teh ground. (Ceiling Cat haz totally xlnt hearing An stuf.)11 An nao cursd art thou fum teh ground, which hath opend its mouth 2 receiv thy brothr's blood fum thy hand;12 When yous plowen teh urth, it bes all hard an stuffz; fugitiv An wanderr shalt thou b in da urth. An its gonna sux cuz therz no united farmwrkr union yet.
13 An cain said unto Ceiling Cat, meh punishment iz greatr than i can bear.14 Behold, u kickban me from teh urth; An killfiled me; An i has no guild or clan or nothin; an' i'm KOS with everyone, even n00bs will pwnz me.
15 An Ceiling Cat said unto him, therefore whosoevr pwnz cain, i will pwnz him 7x. An Ceiling Cat appointd sign 4 cain, sos no1 findin him should pwnz him.16 An cain went out fum teh presence ov Ceiling Cat, An dwelt in da land ov nod, on teh east ov eden.
17 An cain knew his wife (but ther waznt any grrrlz yet xcept his mom, so must b sum othr kind of mirakel but Ceiling Cat is totally 1337 wen it comez 2 mirakels liek makin more grrrlz. Srsly); An she is has teh kid enoch: An cain buildd city, An calld teh name ov teh city, aftr teh name ov his son, enoch.18 An unto enoch wuz born irad: An irad is has teh kid mehujael: An mehujael is has teh kid methushael; An methushael is has teh kid lamech.
19 An lamech took unto him 2 wivez (c i told u Ceiling Cat cud makez more grrrlz!!!1!): teh name ov teh 1 wuz adah, An teh name ov teh othr zillah.20 An adah is has teh kid jabal: An he An his kidz got to campz out in tents liek it wuz vacayshun but they had to chase after all teh moocows An sheeps an stuff so maybe it wasnt that much fun after all.21 An his brothr's name wuz jubal: An he An his kidz maded all the tunez An stuff An invented the ipod, (wifout lectricity or nuthin, Ceiling Cat waz gettin rael good at doin mirakels).22 An zillah, she also has teh kid tubal-cain, An he An his kidz maded all teh knifes An swordz An razrbladez An other sharp metal stuf: An teh sistr ov tubal-cain wuz naamah.
23 An lamech said unto his wivez,
"adah An zillah, hear meh voice;
ye wivez ov lamech, listenz unto meh speechs.
4 i has pwn3d sum d00d 4 woundin me,
sum young d00d 4 bruisin me:
24 If cain shall b avengd 7x,
truly lamech 77x."
25 An adam knew his wife again; An she is has teh son, An calld his name seth. 4, said she, Ceiling Cat gaev me anothr kid instead ov abel; 4 cain pwnzd him.26 An 2 seth, 2 him also thar wuz born son; An he calld his name enosh. den began men 2 call upon teh name ov Ceiling Cat.
TEH LOL OLD TESMENT REEDING
AX 5-Teh Kitteh Ananias an Teh Kitteh Sapphira
1 Okai, lissen up. Der wuz dis kitteh naimd Ananias an him has a wif naim Sapphira. An dey also sowd sum land, rly.2 OMG! Sapphira nu dis, an Ananias kep sum monee frum teh chawch. Him can has profitz. Him tak teh res ov teh monee an put it at teh paws of teh apawsals. lol.
3 An Peter wuz so smrt, him sed, "Yo Ananias, dood, Satain so has yu. Satan is in ur hart, makin yu keep teh profits.4 Wai yu do dis. Yu ownd teh land befor an yu stil do dis? Wow, j00 stoopid. Cuz yu lie to not onlee kittehs, but to Ceiling Cat. Do not want!
5 Den Ananias mak ded. lol.6 An oder kittehs com an put him in shoobocks an buree him.
7 An tree howahs latr Sapphias com in.8 An Peter sezm "Oh hai! Teh monee yu giv, is dat wut yu can has frum teh land sowd?" An Sapphira sez bak, "Yep!"
9 An Peter sed bak, "LOL, dum! Yu lie to Ceiling Cat! Yu see teh pawpwints. Dey buree ur husban, an gess wha? Yu nex, lol. kthnxbai!
10 Den Sapphira mak ded. lol. An oder kittehs com an put her in shoobocks an buree her.11 An teh chawch wuz scairdy kittehs nao!
Teh Apawsals Can Has Heelin, lol
12 Teh apawsals do lotz of twickz an dey heel kittehs, lol. An dey met in Solomon's Colonnade.13 An dey wer veree pawpoolar, but dey had INVISIBLE FRENS cuz dey wer scairdy kittehs.14 But stil kittehs beleev an dey can has faif an dey addeded to teh chawch. Srsly!15 An teh sick kittehs, dey wer put in teh streetz on kitteh beds cuz dey wan shadow ov Peter to go on dem.16 Der wer lotz of kittehs der, all teh way frum not Joorusalem. Dey even browt kittehs wif DarkKittehs in dem. Eep!
Teh Apawsals Git Hawd Tiem
17 Teh Sadooshies git mad an dey git jelus. lol, stoopid.18 Oh noes! Dey put teh apawsals in jale.19 An yay, AngelKitteh com an let dem escaip frum jale. LOL, dat showd dem!20 "Yu can has freedum, tel deh oder kittehs bout teh knu lief."
21 Dey lissen to teh AngelKitteh teh nex day an preech an teh Hai Preest luk in teh jale.
22 INVISIBLE APAWSALS! LOL!23 Dey go bak an sed, "We can has empty jale, sry, lol. We open teh jale an everythin, not der!"24 An teh capn go "Nuuuuuuuuuu!" An everywun wundah wat com nex. INVISIBLE FUTURE, lol
25 Den sumwun cam an sed, "Oh hai. Dood, dey in teh tempel cowts preechin. Luk!"26 Dey bring teh apawsals but dey dint hurt em cuz dey dint want teh oder kittehs to throw teh kitteh littr at dem.
27 Qwestun tiem for teh apawsals!28 "Doods, we sed dun preech. But yu go an do it anyway, stoopid!"
29 Peter an teh oder apawsals sey bak, "No. Yu stoopid30 Ceiling Cat mad Baby Jesus not ded, k?31 An Ceiling Cat put Baby Jesus nex to his kitteh bed an mak it so him can tak awai INVISIBLE ERROR an mak it al okai, k?32 An luk, we can has HoverCat, an we see dis stuff. Srsly."
33 An teh impowtan kittehs hiss an spit. Dey wan to claw teh apawsals ded.34 But a Phairysee naim Gamaliel, wuz a teecha, an sed "No. Wait. Put dem owtsied."35 Den him tawk, "Dood, be carful, rly.36 Membah dat kitteh naim Theudas who had forhundred kittehs? Dood, him wuz mad ded, an him kittehs jus go awai.37 An yu membah Judas an Galilean. Dey be goin to teh sensus, makin a reevowt. But him wuz mad ded an his kittehs jus go awai.38 Jus let deez kittehs go. If dey jus doin dis for demselfs dey gunna jus go awai.39 Dey may be wif Ceiling Cat, rly! An den yu be makin fite wif teh big wun an yu jus gunna los. Rly."
40 An his speech mak dem agwee, an den dey cawl teh apawsals in an dey scrach em bad! Den dey sed, "Dun tawk bowt Baby Jesus."
41 An teh apawsals lef an dey danse! Dey danse to teh lef an to teh rite. Dey wer happeh cuz dey got hurteded for Baby Jesus.42 Dey stil dint stop preechin, lol. Dey wer brav kittehs.
AX 5-Teh Kitteh Ananias an Teh Kitteh Sapphira
1 Okai, lissen up. Der wuz dis kitteh naimd Ananias an him has a wif naim Sapphira. An dey also sowd sum land, rly.2 OMG! Sapphira nu dis, an Ananias kep sum monee frum teh chawch. Him can has profitz. Him tak teh res ov teh monee an put it at teh paws of teh apawsals. lol.
3 An Peter wuz so smrt, him sed, "Yo Ananias, dood, Satain so has yu. Satan is in ur hart, makin yu keep teh profits.4 Wai yu do dis. Yu ownd teh land befor an yu stil do dis? Wow, j00 stoopid. Cuz yu lie to not onlee kittehs, but to Ceiling Cat. Do not want!
5 Den Ananias mak ded. lol.6 An oder kittehs com an put him in shoobocks an buree him.
7 An tree howahs latr Sapphias com in.8 An Peter sezm "Oh hai! Teh monee yu giv, is dat wut yu can has frum teh land sowd?" An Sapphira sez bak, "Yep!"
9 An Peter sed bak, "LOL, dum! Yu lie to Ceiling Cat! Yu see teh pawpwints. Dey buree ur husban, an gess wha? Yu nex, lol. kthnxbai!
10 Den Sapphira mak ded. lol. An oder kittehs com an put her in shoobocks an buree her.11 An teh chawch wuz scairdy kittehs nao!
Teh Apawsals Can Has Heelin, lol
12 Teh apawsals do lotz of twickz an dey heel kittehs, lol. An dey met in Solomon's Colonnade.13 An dey wer veree pawpoolar, but dey had INVISIBLE FRENS cuz dey wer scairdy kittehs.14 But stil kittehs beleev an dey can has faif an dey addeded to teh chawch. Srsly!15 An teh sick kittehs, dey wer put in teh streetz on kitteh beds cuz dey wan shadow ov Peter to go on dem.16 Der wer lotz of kittehs der, all teh way frum not Joorusalem. Dey even browt kittehs wif DarkKittehs in dem. Eep!
Teh Apawsals Git Hawd Tiem
17 Teh Sadooshies git mad an dey git jelus. lol, stoopid.18 Oh noes! Dey put teh apawsals in jale.19 An yay, AngelKitteh com an let dem escaip frum jale. LOL, dat showd dem!20 "Yu can has freedum, tel deh oder kittehs bout teh knu lief."
21 Dey lissen to teh AngelKitteh teh nex day an preech an teh Hai Preest luk in teh jale.
22 INVISIBLE APAWSALS! LOL!23 Dey go bak an sed, "We can has empty jale, sry, lol. We open teh jale an everythin, not der!"24 An teh capn go "Nuuuuuuuuuu!" An everywun wundah wat com nex. INVISIBLE FUTURE, lol
25 Den sumwun cam an sed, "Oh hai. Dood, dey in teh tempel cowts preechin. Luk!"26 Dey bring teh apawsals but dey dint hurt em cuz dey dint want teh oder kittehs to throw teh kitteh littr at dem.
27 Qwestun tiem for teh apawsals!28 "Doods, we sed dun preech. But yu go an do it anyway, stoopid!"
29 Peter an teh oder apawsals sey bak, "No. Yu stoopid30 Ceiling Cat mad Baby Jesus not ded, k?31 An Ceiling Cat put Baby Jesus nex to his kitteh bed an mak it so him can tak awai INVISIBLE ERROR an mak it al okai, k?32 An luk, we can has HoverCat, an we see dis stuff. Srsly."
33 An teh impowtan kittehs hiss an spit. Dey wan to claw teh apawsals ded.34 But a Phairysee naim Gamaliel, wuz a teecha, an sed "No. Wait. Put dem owtsied."35 Den him tawk, "Dood, be carful, rly.36 Membah dat kitteh naim Theudas who had forhundred kittehs? Dood, him wuz mad ded, an him kittehs jus go awai.37 An yu membah Judas an Galilean. Dey be goin to teh sensus, makin a reevowt. But him wuz mad ded an his kittehs jus go awai.38 Jus let deez kittehs go. If dey jus doin dis for demselfs dey gunna jus go awai.39 Dey may be wif Ceiling Cat, rly! An den yu be makin fite wif teh big wun an yu jus gunna los. Rly."
40 An his speech mak dem agwee, an den dey cawl teh apawsals in an dey scrach em bad! Den dey sed, "Dun tawk bowt Baby Jesus."
41 An teh apawsals lef an dey danse! Dey danse to teh lef an to teh rite. Dey wer happeh cuz dey got hurteded for Baby Jesus.42 Dey stil dint stop preechin, lol. Dey wer brav kittehs.
TEH LOL GOSPULL REEDING
MTHEW 5-
1 Wen he seez lotz kittehz, he climbz tree. His BFz climbz tree too.
2 He sez hai and he teaches teh kittehs, he sez:
3 U r doin good if U iz liek a n00b on teh inside; U can has teh Ceiling.
4 U r doin good if U iz sad kitteh; U can has petting.
5 U r doin good if U no want 2 pwn otehr kittehz; U can has urths when otehr kittehz is daid.
6 U r doin good if U iz liek "I can has justices, plz?"; U can has it.
7 U r doin good if U no pwn teh n00bz; Ceiling Cat will not pwn U.
8 U r doin good if U is cleen on teh inside; Ceiling Cat not invisble 4 U.
9 U r doin good if U iz makin teh peece; Ceiling Cat is liek "U mi kittehz."
10 U r doin good if U iz pwned by otehr kittehz just coz U iz fair n reeznable; U can has Ceiling (and share it wif n00b on teh inside kittehz).
11 U r doin good if U iz pwned by otehr kittehz coz of me and thei make up stupid lies abt U, k?
12 B happy and make teh celebrazns coz u can has cookiez n cakez in Ceiling, cos itz liek wen kittehz pwned Ceiling Catz kittehz.
Teh Cheezburgerz and teh meme
13 u r teh cheezburgerz. if cheezburgerz haz no cheez, taste bad. trashcat can has it.
14 u r teh meme of teh internet. lolcat pic online iz not invizible.
15 emos dont frendslock lj posts. tehy post public 4 all teh internetz.
16 u 2 post lolcat pic online so internetz is liek "OMG! ur so k00l! Ceiling Cat rockz!"
17 dont break law. im in ur earth fulfilling ur prophecy
18 iz all true. srsly. law iz not deleted
19 if u break law, no can has cheezburger. if u teach law, can has lotz cookiez
20 u b good kittehz or Ceiling Cat is liek "bad kittehz! u can not has mi pad!"
[edit] Killin ur d00dz
21 u kno if u pwnz0rz, Ceiling Cat is liek "wtf? bad kittehz!"
22 but if u is liek "u n00b!", uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
23 if u has gift 4 Ceiling Cat An u has pwned ur brother
24 ur brother can has hugs b4 u give gift 2 Ceiling Cat
25 lawyers screw u. settle out of court. srsly
26 or they take all ur $$. iz all true. srsly.
Cheetin
27 Ceiling Cat iz liek "no buttsecks!!1!1 bad kittehz!"
28 but im liek "wtf? im in ur brain, watching u think about it"
29 if ur eye sins, scratch it out with ur claws, or uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
30 if ur paw sins, bite it off, or uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
[edit] Divorse
31 Ceiling Cat iz liek "pay divorce lawyer"
32 but im like "divorcee iz slut. uz betr off in trashcan, srsly."
[edit] Promisiz
33 Ceiling Cat iz liek "dont break oath or i break u!!1!"
34 but im like "omgwtf? dont swear by Ceiling Catz pad
35 "or by Ceiling Catz paws on floor
36 "or by ur fir
37 "ya rly:=ya rly; no wai:=no wai. else evil kitteh."
[edit] A Eye for a Eye
38 Ceiling Cat iz liek "i 4 i, fnag 4 fang"
39 but im liek if bad kittehz spank u, turn otehr cheek
40 if bad kittehz take ur fir, give ur tail 2 41 if dogs chase u 1 mile, run 2
Luvin ur enemiz LOL
42 if u makes a cookie 4 some1, doe not eated it
43 Ceiling Cat iz liek "wuv ur BFFz, hate bad kittehz"
44 but im liek "wuv bad kittehz 2"
45 u r all Ceiling Catz kittenz. Sun shines on good kittehz and bad. Also rain :-(
46 if u wuv only ur BFFs, u can not has cheezburger. even teh IRS d00dz do taht!
47 if u iz liek "oh hai" 2 only ur BFFs, wtf? only n00bz do taht.
48 b k00l liek Ceiling Cat
dis is teh werds of teh lordz. go en peece
kthnxbai
MTHEW 5-
1 Wen he seez lotz kittehz, he climbz tree. His BFz climbz tree too.
2 He sez hai and he teaches teh kittehs, he sez:
3 U r doin good if U iz liek a n00b on teh inside; U can has teh Ceiling.
4 U r doin good if U iz sad kitteh; U can has petting.
5 U r doin good if U no want 2 pwn otehr kittehz; U can has urths when otehr kittehz is daid.
6 U r doin good if U iz liek "I can has justices, plz?"; U can has it.
7 U r doin good if U no pwn teh n00bz; Ceiling Cat will not pwn U.
8 U r doin good if U is cleen on teh inside; Ceiling Cat not invisble 4 U.
9 U r doin good if U iz makin teh peece; Ceiling Cat is liek "U mi kittehz."
10 U r doin good if U iz pwned by otehr kittehz just coz U iz fair n reeznable; U can has Ceiling (and share it wif n00b on teh inside kittehz).
11 U r doin good if U iz pwned by otehr kittehz coz of me and thei make up stupid lies abt U, k?
12 B happy and make teh celebrazns coz u can has cookiez n cakez in Ceiling, cos itz liek wen kittehz pwned Ceiling Catz kittehz.
Teh Cheezburgerz and teh meme
13 u r teh cheezburgerz. if cheezburgerz haz no cheez, taste bad. trashcat can has it.
14 u r teh meme of teh internet. lolcat pic online iz not invizible.
15 emos dont frendslock lj posts. tehy post public 4 all teh internetz.
16 u 2 post lolcat pic online so internetz is liek "OMG! ur so k00l! Ceiling Cat rockz!"
17 dont break law. im in ur earth fulfilling ur prophecy
18 iz all true. srsly. law iz not deleted
19 if u break law, no can has cheezburger. if u teach law, can has lotz cookiez
20 u b good kittehz or Ceiling Cat is liek "bad kittehz! u can not has mi pad!"
[edit] Killin ur d00dz
21 u kno if u pwnz0rz, Ceiling Cat is liek "wtf? bad kittehz!"
22 but if u is liek "u n00b!", uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
23 if u has gift 4 Ceiling Cat An u has pwned ur brother
24 ur brother can has hugs b4 u give gift 2 Ceiling Cat
25 lawyers screw u. settle out of court. srsly
26 or they take all ur $$. iz all true. srsly.
Cheetin
27 Ceiling Cat iz liek "no buttsecks!!1!1 bad kittehz!"
28 but im liek "wtf? im in ur brain, watching u think about it"
29 if ur eye sins, scratch it out with ur claws, or uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
30 if ur paw sins, bite it off, or uz betr off in trashcan, srsly.
[edit] Divorse
31 Ceiling Cat iz liek "pay divorce lawyer"
32 but im like "divorcee iz slut. uz betr off in trashcan, srsly."
[edit] Promisiz
33 Ceiling Cat iz liek "dont break oath or i break u!!1!"
34 but im like "omgwtf? dont swear by Ceiling Catz pad
35 "or by Ceiling Catz paws on floor
36 "or by ur fir
37 "ya rly:=ya rly; no wai:=no wai. else evil kitteh."
[edit] A Eye for a Eye
38 Ceiling Cat iz liek "i 4 i, fnag 4 fang"
39 but im liek if bad kittehz spank u, turn otehr cheek
40 if bad kittehz take ur fir, give ur tail 2 41 if dogs chase u 1 mile, run 2
Luvin ur enemiz LOL
42 if u makes a cookie 4 some1, doe not eated it
43 Ceiling Cat iz liek "wuv ur BFFz, hate bad kittehz"
44 but im liek "wuv bad kittehz 2"
45 u r all Ceiling Catz kittenz. Sun shines on good kittehz and bad. Also rain :-(
46 if u wuv only ur BFFs, u can not has cheezburger. even teh IRS d00dz do taht!
47 if u iz liek "oh hai" 2 only ur BFFs, wtf? only n00bz do taht.
48 b k00l liek Ceiling Cat
dis is teh werds of teh lordz. go en peece
kthnxbai
