pansypoo's personal rant page.

THURS IN DES MOINES

i can't remember which day keith said i should get my train ticket to go back on Fri. i didn't WANT to go so soon, but i said ok.
he thought i was bored. i wasn't bored. i am just quiet by nature.
well, thurs he had to go see somebody about tax issues. so while he was there. i looked thru his book collection. oy vey, thomas Crapkaid?? hope that was a gift. lots of potting books.
i wrote some letters on tues. or wed.
oh, i forgot the balls of hair i brought for skippy to play with. i make them fro a special brush for fur coats. cats LOVE it and you can peel the hair off and with a little spit make balls. skippy did not hiss, so that would be good to bring our cats together. right?
sigh. we had some pea soup for lunch.
keith also went to an aussie fried's house who was having a little pre-Xmas sale and he set up his leftover pots and such. had a cool house. she had some nice antiques and a cat.
then keith decided to take me for another drive around and to a park and nearby the des moines art center. very neat and free. in the entry area they had a print section which was way cool.
sigh. imaybe keith didn't sense it, but i really liked it. i didn't realise how inscrutable i am. went back to his house and did some talking before going out to eat. he had a gift certicate to a posh italian place close by. he sort of wavered on that or something else. it was very packed. i was ok with that and we were able to get seated at a tiby table neat the front. it was very cozy. damn. i don't much care for going out, but i guess you could say it was a date. but we were so. perfect. it seemed perfect to me.waitress was very helpful, he insisted i get a glass of wine. hard to decide as i know nothing, other to avoid california wines. i find them boring.

it was pretty late when we got back and had to get to osceola at 8 am. took a shower. and he was watching rita whats her name. there had been a tornado in IA i guess. i guess we both could use sleep. i asked to watch the colbert show. he missed the bullet points during the word, so he didn't understand why i was laughing.
damn. i had to leave tomorrow.
i liked being in his bed. being with him. i was beginning to realise how much i had smiled while i was there. i don't do that normally.
he had touched me enough to know i liked that. (wore very touchable stuff!) this whole trip was to see if i could fall in love(little did i know i had-never been in love, how could i tell), because he was already expressing it. i had to know because i didn't want hurt him. to toy with him. he was too good. too special.
plus, i suppose i am cautious. like a cat.

well, i suppose this all sounds lame, or sad, but it was what it was.
most of our relationship was through letters and phone calls.

WED IN DES MOINES

i didn't get much sleep on tues night either. still head too full and active. keith stayed pretty much in one position. doen't snore. sleeps ssoundly. i on the other hand do toss and turn. listening to peter gabriel's passionsomewhat settles brain.

did i mention how hot her looked in the morning? in his too short T-shirt and underwear? god he must have been magnificent in his 20's and 30's. shit, he was fine oh so fine in clinton in his 40's.

he makes coffee, have our breakfast. and then he takes me to his building/studio. i am surprised as his building is sort of more like an unfinished building.basically the basement. was going to be a building for Vets, but never finished. i was disappoiinted their were no pots. but boy did it have space. i was surpised he basically would have to hunker down over his wheel. i wish i could have seen him make a pot. oh, it had started to snow. then he drove downtown big flakes. he complained and i thought it was so pretty. i LIKED des moines. he so wanted to make it sound great, but i could tell it was. the big hurdle-water was covered, the water good. all i really cared about.
told me stuff. i can't all repeat.
and then took me to a posh spot for lunch. very cool, but didn't need lunch like that. usually i am cheap.

i spot a great harvest brewad place and we go there and get bread for the soup.

do more driving. shows me his house that his ex made him move away from. bitch. she wanted burbia. i would have killed to live in his old 20's house.

go back to his house. have soup again. danf, the white bread is a tad sweet for the soup. and w talk a bit. then get ready for bed and teevee. finsih watching lolita. maybe we watched manchurian on wed. i can't remember.
but it was a sweet day.

THE NEXT DAY AT KEITH'S
i think i am getting it straight in my head. also best not do this before bed.
even tho keith's bed is nice and mushy, the way i like it, i did not sleep well. sometimes, usually in new places, my head won't shut off. maybe it's a safety thing. although i felt very safe. so, i had maybe 2 hours of sleep.
i was awake before keith and i had fun petting skippy. who likes keith's chest and actually came over and laid on mine. which pleased keith.
we got up. he made very good coffee.
i had crappy breakfast and he showed me his antique room. he inerited cxrocks from an aunt and he had some neat things. and i picked up this large parrot. he said it was his grandmother's. and i wanted to ask more about it and her and my cell phone started to ring. mom. dammit, because we didn't go back and i didn't her about the parrot. and now i won't get my answers ever.
well, i think we putzed around. he had this huge ball of rubber bands. very inpressive. i think he took me to this mall like place to look for yellow plit peas. because we are going to make soup! no split peas. interesting, but not my kinda thing. and we go to his local chinese place for lunch. very nice lunch. of course they know him. they like their keithie boy.
he grabs some peppermints. he loves them and chews them and i envy his teeth.
we go shopping. we get stuff for the soup and melting moments cookies and caramel.
i liked just shopping with him. damn.
take the stuff back. and it's time to start the soup. i have never made pea soup that fast. really had to boil the peas. he had very good pots. electric. i can deal with that. sigh. onions don't make him cry. of course he is so far above them.
he uses butter in his. i use chicken boullion. but the spices i use are new to him. he has basics tho. he also likes pepper.
well, it was a very good pot of soup. very good. he has a side by side fridge. was hard getting the soup pot in. never get a side by side if you cook!
well, keith doesn't have measuring items for cookies. uh oh.
well, i sort of guesstimated and they came out right. no cookie sheet either. what to do. i used his broiler pan! cookies good.
i have to take a shower. and then...
and time for movies. we watch manchurian candidate. i am not impressed with sinatra. HEY! is that lovey from giligan's island? then we start lolita. get about 1/2 way, but i am way to tired to finish it.
end tues.

HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINE'S DAY

since i can't stop thinking about keith anyways, i might as well blog as much as i can about my visit to des moines in Oct 05', my last time with keith.

monday morning i get up early and my mom and i go to the downtown train station. never been there. had to get the paper from the box. my those trains are tall. all aboard!
get a nice seat on the hiawatha to chicago. oh, i get to go across the trestle? bridge that swings back and forth over the river(i had drawn the bridge many times when i was at art school-the MIAD i went to first is a building from 1910 or so, on water, and across the street is a parking lot by the river. the bridge just south) and all the old factories i get to see from a completely different view. and all the little stations between milw and chicago look so quaint. in chicago an hour wait for the west train. read paper.
and then i am off. oh. i am barefoot mainly, no big issue from anybody. hauling of luggage minimal.
the trip while light was nice. lots of amish. views wonderfully stimulating. i only eat a package of sesmarks savory thins. sesame crackers. no liquids. i am not gonna use that bathroom but once dammit.they satisfied me pretty well.
problem was after dark. i mistakenly took a book my uncle had given me and i thought i would read it. women who walk (run?) with wolves. i started it and OH MY GOD! it's psychobble jungian clap trap!!!the chapters sart with poorly written/told fairy tails. i sort of read them. god it was aweful. i am so pissed. i go downstairs as it is getting close. i go through paper again. train stuff i had picked up in Milw. and finally osceola! which is south of desmoines. no train to des moines.(by the way, keith suggested flying, but the prices were insane and i wanted to ride train). only about 3 or so get off with me from my carriage. KEITH. i get a hug. FEED ME.it's about 8pm. and i am smiling. tired but happy. and the asceola station is so neat. 1909 i think. gravel not so nice on barefeet but barable.
only thing in the area is an applebee's and a chilis. applebee's is our place eh? so applebees it is. keith didn't want to share fajitas, so i got honey chicken. ok, but not great and came with garlic mashed potatos. i told him not to eat them, but he ate too many! then we drove to his house. ooh, it's mod. ok, i don't really like the main feature the garage, but who cares, i can't describe his house now as at this point i am tired. but i shall say all the walls are a med grey. almost the grey of the board we used in photography class. i like that.i get my own bathroom. no guest room, i can have the couch or his bed. i go for bed. beeeg bed. get to his house about 10 or so. i think i get to meet skippy. he likes me. i scratch his but and he makes licking moves. hmm. i give keith a building block i have been saving from an estate sale. it has a K and a R. i brought a MYST 3000 tape, but no VCR. bummer.
i don't know if it was monday night or tues that we start the movies.i think it was mon. he has a 'green' room in the basement. sort of walled off, painted green and he has mixed green fabrics on the ceiling. very cool. and his can collection is very cool. he collected them as a kid from the shores of lake superior and wherelse he had been. i see some WI beers. i like it. and a line of old old duck decoys. his uncle's. and then i pick out some movies i think i need to see. soylent green, manchurian candidate and lolita, the old one. back upstairs. i do notice his house is neat as a pin and very well decorated. i like it a lot. some things don't seem him. like the curtains. get ready for bed and then we watched soylent green.
what is soylent red and yellow made of?
i'll stop here.

100? Bush weeks to go
100! Bush weeks to go
the congress debates and votes on the surge
georgie irrelevant is the one america needs to purge
100? Bush weeks to go

RANDOM WHAT POST

not sure hwat to consider this. well, for a reason i ws paging through vol 6 of the children's encyclopedia-the book of knowledge. and i hit The Story Of Lady Anne Grimston. who was not a believer and on her death bed was sure she would not have a life after death, saying it was the same as if a tree grew out of my heart.
low and behold, a tree grew out of her heart, even after many times to stop it. has a pic of the huge 4 trunked tree-4 chambers! huh. reminds me of that child's grave i found on the east side. that had multi trunks as well. shit. that is kinda spooky. i checked it out on the internets. i found it, but no pic.

i am still not finished with austria-hungary history. did get to napoleon tho, so i am in the stretch.

another week of no good estate sales. may not even do the so so one.
bummer.

just remember, i haven't been able to 'edit' cause my puter too old. so just ignore the 2nd EB post. just minor tweeks. if spelling down to attaturk standards, deal.

RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA POST

snippet continued from AURELIUS entry(refer to previous EB post), his son COMMODUS(shit hole eh?) was a bad seed. sensualist, BUFFOON and TYRANT. ahh, like georgie jr! why do great men have such shitty spawn?

AURORA POLARIS-not so good, but back then they had some interesting theories and observations. such as-dark bank of clouds below them. of course we know that is because they start high in the atmosphere, so it is an optical illusion. and i have seen stars or planets below northern lights. i actually saw them last time i flew to denmark.

AUSTIN, Jane-most of her books were written earlier than published. some amusing observations from the entry. it says-it is probable indeed that her admirers will always be few in #.
and then says-her works are entirely wanting in certain elements-such as depth of feeling and bredth of sympathy.
idiots.

AUSTRALASIA(Australia)-the mao seeemed different in it's 'states'. north/south/west australia? alexandraland? the history section seem mostly about explorers going here and there '1st'.

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY-more interestng as i recently had a good ebay encounter with a prague illustrator/cartoonist. the map was way WAY different. some 'provinces' i had never heard of. carithia, styria, camiola,istria, dalmatia(oh, actually there on a 80's national geographic map!), silesia, galacia, goritz. some i did recognize thru the different spelling, servia and budapesth. oy, the history was a bundle of battles and leaders invading and the 30 years war and the 7 years war.
autria was confederacy of 5 countries, hungary, bohemia, galacia, ilyria, and dalmatia, 1 duchy-styria, 1 malgravite-moraravia, 1 country-tyrol, and divided into provinces(crown-lands) at 'present'18,14 in ustria proper, 4 in hungary.
there record keeping was quite thorough. births, still births, illigitamate, in 1869, 28 men and 40 women over 100 years old. counted suicides as well.
they did mention czechs and slovaks in the race section.
30 years war- protestants vs catholics. big names-Tilly and Wallenstein.
king charles, i actually have a 1719 coin of his era, but it says carol IV. father of Maria-theresa(mother of marie antoinette). Prussian king Frederick II bad.30 years and 7 years war 850,000 dead for basiclly nothing. Maria-Theresa basicaly the ruler for 40 years.

RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRIANNICA POST

snippet continued from AURELIUS entry(refer to previous EB post), his son COMMODUS(shit hole eh?) was a bad seed. sensualist, BUFFOON and TYRANT. ahh, like georgie jr! why do great men have such shitty spawn?

AURORA POLARIS-not so good, but back then they had some interesting theories and observations. such as-dark bank of clouds below them. of course we know that is because they start high in the atmosphere, so it is an optical illusion. and i have seen stars or planets below northern lights. i actually saw them last time i flew to denmark.

AUSTIN, Jane-most of her books were written earlier than published. some amusing observations from the entry. it says-it is probable indeed that her admirers will always be few in #.
and then says-her works are entirely wanting in certain elements-such as depth of feeling and bredth of sympathy.
idiots.

AUSTRALASIA(Australia)-the mao seeemed different in it's 'states'. north/south/west australia? alexandraland? the history section seem mostly about explorers going here and there '1st'.

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY-more interestng as i recently had a good ebay encounter with a prague illustrator/cartoonist. the map was way WAY different. some 'provinces' i had never heard of. carithia, styria, camiola,istria, dalmatia(oh, actually there on a 80's national geographic map!), silesia, galacia, goritz. some i did recognize thru the different spelling, servia and budapesth. oy, the history was a bundle of battles and leaders invading and the 30 years war and the 7 years war.
autria was confederacy of 5 countries, hungary, bohemia, galacia, ilyria, and dalmatia, 1 duchy-styria, 1 malgravite-moraravia, 1 country-tyrol, and divided into provinces(crown-lands) at 'present'18,14 in ustria proper, 4 in hungary.
there record keeping was quite thorough. births, still births, illigitamate, in 1869, 28 men and 40 women over 100 years old. counted suicides as well.
they did mention czechs and slovaks in the race section.
30 years war- protestants vs catholics. big names-Tilly and Wallenstein.
king charles, i actually have a 1719 coin of his era, but it says carol IV. father of Maria-theresa(mother of marie antoinette). Prussian king Frederick II bad. 7 years war 850,000 dead for basiclly nothing. Maria-Theresa basicaly the ruler for 40 years.