Saturday, March 01, 2008
RANDOM EBAY POST
this got over $100, while the much cuter coons only sold for $61. crazee.
RANDOM PRETTY POST
stolen from astronomy pic of the day. toooo pretty.
SATURDAY SCHLITZ BLOGGING
ok, i can't wait til i'm done with outhouses. SO, we begin saturday not outhouse blogging.
so, after graduating art school, i got a poorly paying job at schlitz studios. a tiffany reproduction stained glass studio. mainly doing shades and windows. and making glass. jim schlitz, pothead learned from the old guys who worked for tiffany and stained glass guys who made all the piano windows in milwaukee. he had a huge library of old glass in the far back room. room of kokomo crap glass. wood blocks we built shades on. for about 1/2 a year, all i did was wrap copper 'tape' around glass. then grinding. this of course is a dragonfly cut by john who was hired after me. good cutter, but terrible about tones. get to that later. i think this is the one where most of the jewels were opaque, so the buyer sent it back and i had the lovely job of taking out the bad ones and putting in good ones. dragon flies were a bitch. wire border, damn brass overlays. DREMEL work. and some pieces just never fit well. shoulda redone the cutting pattern! not a really good one.
after grinding i learned building the shade on the wood shade block. then soldering.
we made shades exactly like tiffany, but with electric irons. we could even fool tiffany experts. yeah, that good. and jim's glass was like tiffany's. soft. easy to cut. in the last years i even did some cutting.
yes. i have a shitload of glass in the basement.
Friday, February 29, 2008
RANDOM WANT TO HOARD POST
i want i want i want them. and i can't bid. price to high. but hey, i have my bitchin giraffe. and other stuff. sigh. too big anyways.
RANDOM EB POST
CASTALIA- Fons Castalius, greek fountain at foot of Mt. Parnassus. sacred to apollo and the Muses used in purification rites by pythian pilgrims.
CASTE- social organization applied in good and bad sence. portuguese in origin 'family'. but more recent to Hindu. 'Varna', color. gati, kula, gotra, pravara and karana blah blah blah 6+ pages.
CASTELLO, Bernardo 1557-1629 painter
FRIDAY ART BLOGGING
sitting bull didn't seem to want to be scanned right. i gave up after 3 tries. did it in denmark on indian day.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
RANDOM EB POST
oops. forgot rest of
CASINI-
-Giovanni Domenico-1st. most famous. 1625-1712 correct in predictions, but felt it was a useless art and pursued science. wrote book on comet of 1652, also studied blood transfusion and insects
-Jucques 1677-1756. son of GD. pure observer. not theoretician(georgie W)
-Cesar Francois, Count de Thury 1714-1784 son of Jacque. observer. most important wrk a topographical map of france. completed by son.
Jacques Dominique, count de thury. 1748-1845. more philisophical, but plns to improve the conservatory cut short in 1793. imprisoned 7 months and abandoned astronomy and retired.
CASSIUS, Conginus, Caius- one of julius caesar's assassins. 53bc served under crassus 61bc, defeated parthians. came back to Rome rich. 49 became tribune to plebs. 1st allied w/ pompey.44 became praetor peregrinous. active participant in the assassination. after left rome for syria, took rhodes and united sardis. in philippii attacked by antony and octavianus. cassius division defeated and troops slay him.
CASTAGNO, Andrea Del 1390-1457 painter-flourentine school. most work perished.
RANDOM NEW HOARD POST
well, i didn't get much to sell. more keeps. i guess the best is the turned spoon and fork and mini wood whipper. spoons are not great, but considering that house.....
the big covered pot tho....if only it was all black. dare i paint it so? the afghan is nice.
RANDOM RANT POST-yes a mini rant
I HATE waking up to the NOT READY FOR PIME TIME blivet having a presser. geogrie can't decide if he wants to charm them or just be an asshole. and nimrod, if people are having it rouggh NOW, how is a little money in MAY gonna help?
clueless. .6 growth??? .FUCKING six? no this ain't a recession. right.
I HATE waking up to the NOT READY FOR PIME TIME blivet having a presser. geogrie can't decide if he wants to charm them or just be an asshole. and nimrod, if people are having it rouggh NOW, how is a little money in MAY gonna help?
clueless. .6 growth??? .FUCKING six? no this ain't a recession. right.
Hapless Robbers Target Bar Filled With Bikers
(CNN) -- Two masked and machete-wielding men who barged into a club in Sydney, Australia, couldn't have picked a worse night for their robbery -- a monthly meeting of bikers.
The robbers chose the wrong night to burst into the club where the Southern Cross Cruiser Club have their monthly meeting.
About 50 burly bikers fought back with tables and chairs -- pretty much anything that wasn't bolted down. One would-be robber was tied up; the other in the hospital.
Police arrested both.
"These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in."
Vancornewal and his buddies were at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney when the two men wearing ski masks stormed in Wednesday night. They yelled at patrons to drop to the floor as they emptied cash registers at the bar.
Hearing the commotion from an adjacent room, Vancornewal and his pals with the Southern Cross Cruiser motorcycle club stomped through to the bar area to intervene.
"They (the robbers) thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes," Jim Webb, night supervisor of the club, told CNN. "They didn't expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables."
One of the would-be robbers crashed through a plate-glass door and jumped off a balcony.
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"All he had to do was push the button and it automatically opened," Webb quipped.
New South Wales police said they arrested the 20-year-old man a short distance away.
The second man made a break for it through the club's service entrance, but the bikers tackled him near a neighbor's fence.
"We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops," Vancornewal said.
Police confirmed in a statement that club patrons subdued the second man until officers arrived, but did not provide additional details. The suspect turned out to be a 16-year-old boy.
Both would-be robbers were charged with attempted armed robbery and "face disguised with intent to commit indictable offense," police said.
A third person, who was waiting in a getaway car, took off when the bikers threw pieces of furniture at him, Webb said. Police have not located him.
The Regents Park Sporting and Community Club is a place where locals come to enjoy drinks and take part in various games: cricket, soccer, lawn bowling. The biking enthusiasts meet there once a month to plan rides and other club activities.
In the last year or so, criminals have struck the club about 10 times, Webb said. And Wednesday night's incident, while unusual, wasn't the most memorable.
"We have these old bingo players and they are really serious about their games," Webb explained. "They do not like to be interrupted."
When robbers barged in one evening and announced that they were holding up the place, the players turned around and testily told them to be quiet.
"They were making it difficult for the players to hear the numbers being called," Webb said. E-mail to a friend
i love how they thought the bingo group was better. but i guess they didn't do any damage.
The robbers chose the wrong night to burst into the club where the Southern Cross Cruiser Club have their monthly meeting.
About 50 burly bikers fought back with tables and chairs -- pretty much anything that wasn't bolted down. One would-be robber was tied up; the other in the hospital.
Police arrested both.
"These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in."
Vancornewal and his buddies were at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney when the two men wearing ski masks stormed in Wednesday night. They yelled at patrons to drop to the floor as they emptied cash registers at the bar.
Hearing the commotion from an adjacent room, Vancornewal and his pals with the Southern Cross Cruiser motorcycle club stomped through to the bar area to intervene.
"They (the robbers) thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes," Jim Webb, night supervisor of the club, told CNN. "They didn't expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables."
One of the would-be robbers crashed through a plate-glass door and jumped off a balcony.
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Italy's food fraud police seizes fake ham
"All he had to do was push the button and it automatically opened," Webb quipped.
New South Wales police said they arrested the 20-year-old man a short distance away.
The second man made a break for it through the club's service entrance, but the bikers tackled him near a neighbor's fence.
"We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops," Vancornewal said.
Police confirmed in a statement that club patrons subdued the second man until officers arrived, but did not provide additional details. The suspect turned out to be a 16-year-old boy.
Both would-be robbers were charged with attempted armed robbery and "face disguised with intent to commit indictable offense," police said.
A third person, who was waiting in a getaway car, took off when the bikers threw pieces of furniture at him, Webb said. Police have not located him.
The Regents Park Sporting and Community Club is a place where locals come to enjoy drinks and take part in various games: cricket, soccer, lawn bowling. The biking enthusiasts meet there once a month to plan rides and other club activities.
In the last year or so, criminals have struck the club about 10 times, Webb said. And Wednesday night's incident, while unusual, wasn't the most memorable.
"We have these old bingo players and they are really serious about their games," Webb explained. "They do not like to be interrupted."
When robbers barged in one evening and announced that they were holding up the place, the players turned around and testily told them to be quiet.
"They were making it difficult for the players to hear the numbers being called," Webb said. E-mail to a friend
i love how they thought the bingo group was better. but i guess they didn't do any damage.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
RANDOM ESTATE SALE POST!!!-FINALLY
well, it was a HORRIBLE 70's-80's 'german' look house. listing said german seamstress. lots of fabric. blah blah blah. boring white tile floors or low carpet. horrid halls and terrible flow. most of the stuff in the house sucked as well. can't imagine what i missed. my mom got a cheap whicker chair for $7.50. i got a great $3 bag full of wood spoons and a fork and a mini whipper. a few ebayables. a ok afghan. a huge enamelwar covered pot. but on the whole, it was a shitty shitty sale. very crappy ebayables. but the wood stuff made it worth it. a bad smoosher
BLEGH. horrid house. and this poor little black boy(10?) dragged there by his mom or grandma. had a nice chat with some black ladies. yeah. i was barefoot. walked over the ice covered driveway. but it was close to 32f so not bad.
i guess i could post a pic tomorrow.
well, it was a HORRIBLE 70's-80's 'german' look house. listing said german seamstress. lots of fabric. blah blah blah. boring white tile floors or low carpet. horrid halls and terrible flow. most of the stuff in the house sucked as well. can't imagine what i missed. my mom got a cheap whicker chair for $7.50. i got a great $3 bag full of wood spoons and a fork and a mini whipper. a few ebayables. a ok afghan. a huge enamelwar covered pot. but on the whole, it was a shitty shitty sale. very crappy ebayables. but the wood stuff made it worth it. a bad smoosher
BLEGH. horrid house. and this poor little black boy(10?) dragged there by his mom or grandma. had a nice chat with some black ladies. yeah. i was barefoot. walked over the ice covered driveway. but it was close to 32f so not bad.
i guess i could post a pic tomorrow.
RANDOM EB POST
CASSANDER-354-297 bc. king of macedonia and 1st appears in history at court of Alexander, defending father Antipater, hated alexander. father ecame regent of macedonia, C the Chiliarch. polyspercha succeeded Antipater and C not happy and allied with Ptolemy Syter and antigonus and declared war. won most of greece states, allies of his killed by queen Olympias. he marched on her land and put her to death, then murdered Roxana and alexander, wife and son of Alexander. C's wife was A's 1/2 sister and allied w/ courtiers, died 3 yrs later. he loved homer
CASSANDRA-greek story. daughter of Priam & Hecuba. beloved of apollo, who bestowed the spirit of prophecy for granting his desire, she agreed, but no hanky panky and became a curse, when nobody believed her.
CASSINI-family of astronomers, who were directors of the conservatory of paris.
CASSANDER-354-297 bc. king of macedonia and 1st appears in history at court of Alexander, defending father Antipater, hated alexander. father ecame regent of macedonia, C the Chiliarch. polyspercha succeeded Antipater and C not happy and allied with Ptolemy Syter and antigonus and declared war. won most of greece states, allies of his killed by queen Olympias. he marched on her land and put her to death, then murdered Roxana and alexander, wife and son of Alexander. C's wife was A's 1/2 sister and allied w/ courtiers, died 3 yrs later. he loved homer
CASSANDRA-greek story. daughter of Priam & Hecuba. beloved of apollo, who bestowed the spirit of prophecy for granting his desire, she agreed, but no hanky panky and became a curse, when nobody believed her.
CASSINI-family of astronomers, who were directors of the conservatory of paris.
RANDOM WWI POST
floyd is still in paris, but observes a little interaction between a L general and his driver. a private. private leaves with car to get things for L. G. and the general tells floyd that the private is the son of the biggest oilman in oklahoma. had to do his taxes for him. the son of the biggest oilman was an enlisted private
we do NOT have a war on terrism. WW2 had more higher ups/rich children in service. few senators children does NOT compare.
teddy roosevelt lost a child.
floyd is still in paris, but observes a little interaction between a L general and his driver. a private. private leaves with car to get things for L. G. and the general tells floyd that the private is the son of the biggest oilman in oklahoma. had to do his taxes for him. the son of the biggest oilman was an enlisted private
we do NOT have a war on terrism. WW2 had more higher ups/rich children in service. few senators children does NOT compare.
teddy roosevelt lost a child.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
46? more $####!# Bush weeks to go
46? more &*%^%%! Bush weeks to go
georgie has a republikkkan govenor party
will mcinsain's little lobbyist issue kill the party?
46? more &*%^(%$ Bush weeks to go.
georgie seems to be disappearing from the news. i bet he hates that. rejoice!
46? more &*%^%%! Bush weeks to go
georgie has a republikkkan govenor party
will mcinsain's little lobbyist issue kill the party?
46? more &*%^(%$ Bush weeks to go.
georgie seems to be disappearing from the news. i bet he hates that. rejoice!
RANDOM DAILY SQUIRREL POST
whatEVER you want, it's on ebay! a dead squirrel for them who prefer them that way.
TOESDAY
post election. painted blue for voting. added some pink.
Monday, February 25, 2008
RANDOM EB POST
gee, how could i forget these.
CARTESIANISM-pg 142-160 based on the philosophy of Des Cartes, Malebranche, and Spinoza. um,...no read.
CARTHAGE-3+ pages.
CARTHUSIANS-religeous order founded by st. Bruno in 1084.
CARTWRIGHT, Edmund 1743-1823 inventor of the power loom. published poetry 1770. joined clergy 1784 invented the power-loom. patent year 1785. 1st failure, LUDDITES burned factory down.
CASSANA, Niccolo 1659-1714. painter, also called niccoletto. temper.
RANDOM WWI POST
still reading about the soldiers in paris. so, the soldier's can't be served hard kliquor, but they can be served wine or beer. no drunks but, floyd reports that soldiers are searching high and lo in every establishment looking for something they will not find. an ice cream soda!
of course he missed the WI soldiers drinking their beer. had to be.
still reading about the soldiers in paris. so, the soldier's can't be served hard kliquor, but they can be served wine or beer. no drunks but, floyd reports that soldiers are searching high and lo in every establishment looking for something they will not find. an ice cream soda!
of course he missed the WI soldiers drinking their beer. had to be.
MONDAY ROADKILL BLOGGING
the 1st giraffe-twiga. it was sold on it's first showing at a fair. sold my new rabbit and giraffe! NOOOooooooooo! i want more time with my baby! but i have had the 2nd longer and because of it's colors, more special.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
RANDOM MESSAGE POST
happy 87 th birthday abe vigoda! you still aren't dead!
happy 87 th birthday abe vigoda! you still aren't dead!
RANDOM GRANDMA A RANDOM POST
i used up a little notebook for EB notes. grandma had left the the page used.
white-pure
purple-royal
green-life
red-strife
black-famine
chlorine-death
(light green)
no idea where or why grandma wrote this down. did she ever look at it?
tiger-fierce
ox-patient
lion-kingdom
bear-stealthful
goat-evil (evil?)
eagle-spiritual
lamb-sacrifice (she spelt it sacarfice
face?-intelligent
what?
1. beginning
2.
3. spiritual
4 ends of earth
6 human-imperfection
7 3+4 complete
0
12 God's chosen people
notes on a sermon? a church service?
i used up a little notebook for EB notes. grandma had left the the page used.
white-pure
purple-royal
green-life
red-strife
black-famine
chlorine-death
(light green)
no idea where or why grandma wrote this down. did she ever look at it?
tiger-fierce
ox-patient
lion-kingdom
bear-stealthful
goat-evil (evil?)
eagle-spiritual
lamb-sacrifice (she spelt it sacarfice
face?-intelligent
what?
1. beginning
2.
3. spiritual
4 ends of earth
6 human-imperfection
7 3+4 complete
0
12 God's chosen people
notes on a sermon? a church service?
DIS IZ TEH LOL OLD TESTMENT REEDING-
Jenisuss 10-
1 Hai, now thz be th recordz o th genrashnz o Shem Ham an Jafef sonz o Noah, and sonz born 2 thm fter th flud, sonz wit duuuuum namz.
2 Sonz o Jafef wuz Pyle an Magog-ogog an Madai an Javan an 2-bal an Meshech an Tiraz.
3 Sonz o Pyle wuz Ashkenaz an Rafaf and Togarmah.4 Sonz o Javan wuz Elishah Tarshish an Kitteh (yay!) an Dodanim.5 They each haz a bukkit; bukkits be sorted cuz of how they talk n stuf.
6 Sonz o Ham wuz Cush an Miz'raim an Put an Canaan.7 Sonz o Cush wuz Seba an Havilah (Nagilah) an Sabby-tah and Raamah an Sabteca; an sonz o Raamah wuz Sheba and D-dan.
8 Now Cush wuz dad o Nimrod; he wuz big.9 Nimrod wuz aggressive cat; an so, iz said, "aggressive cat is aggressive."10 Nimrod has a kingdom; kingdom has Babel an Erech an Accad an Calneh, n Shiner.11 An then he gotz n2 Assyria, has Nineveh an Rehoboth-Ir an Calah,12 an he bilt Resen in da middle.
13 Enuff wit agressive cat. Miz'raim wuz dad o Ludim an Anamim and Lehabim and Nafuthim14 an others; he wuz busy!
15 Canaan wuz dad o Sidon and Heth16 an sum more17 an sum more18 an sum more, I forget.
19 Take da 1st left at Gerar fter Sidon, go as far as Gaza, turnz to Sodom an Gomorrah an Admah and Zeboiim, if u at Lasha, u gone 2 far.20 That wuz Ham.
21 An 2 Shem, he gotz sum kidz.22 Shem gotz Elam and Asshur an Arpachshad and Lud an Aram.23 An Aram gotz Uz and Hul an Gether an Mash.24 Arpachshad gotz a betur name.
25 Eber gotz 2 sonz; 1 wuz Peleg, cuz to him, aggressive cat wuz agressive, an defensive cat wuz defensive; an he had a brudder, hiz brudder's name wuz Joktan.26 Joktan gotz some kidz,27 kinda a lotz a kidz,28 lotz a kidz,29 an some more, yeah, he got himz sum kidz.
30 Now take da 1st left at Mesha 2 Sefar, an u c sum hillz in da east.31 Bai Shem,32 kthxbai.
Jenisuss 10-
1 Hai, now thz be th recordz o th genrashnz o Shem Ham an Jafef sonz o Noah, and sonz born 2 thm fter th flud, sonz wit duuuuum namz.
2 Sonz o Jafef wuz Pyle an Magog-ogog an Madai an Javan an 2-bal an Meshech an Tiraz.
3 Sonz o Pyle wuz Ashkenaz an Rafaf and Togarmah.4 Sonz o Javan wuz Elishah Tarshish an Kitteh (yay!) an Dodanim.5 They each haz a bukkit; bukkits be sorted cuz of how they talk n stuf.
6 Sonz o Ham wuz Cush an Miz'raim an Put an Canaan.7 Sonz o Cush wuz Seba an Havilah (Nagilah) an Sabby-tah and Raamah an Sabteca; an sonz o Raamah wuz Sheba and D-dan.
8 Now Cush wuz dad o Nimrod; he wuz big.9 Nimrod wuz aggressive cat; an so, iz said, "aggressive cat is aggressive."10 Nimrod has a kingdom; kingdom has Babel an Erech an Accad an Calneh, n Shiner.11 An then he gotz n2 Assyria, has Nineveh an Rehoboth-Ir an Calah,12 an he bilt Resen in da middle.
13 Enuff wit agressive cat. Miz'raim wuz dad o Ludim an Anamim and Lehabim and Nafuthim14 an others; he wuz busy!
15 Canaan wuz dad o Sidon and Heth16 an sum more17 an sum more18 an sum more, I forget.
19 Take da 1st left at Gerar fter Sidon, go as far as Gaza, turnz to Sodom an Gomorrah an Admah and Zeboiim, if u at Lasha, u gone 2 far.20 That wuz Ham.
21 An 2 Shem, he gotz sum kidz.22 Shem gotz Elam and Asshur an Arpachshad and Lud an Aram.23 An Aram gotz Uz and Hul an Gether an Mash.24 Arpachshad gotz a betur name.
25 Eber gotz 2 sonz; 1 wuz Peleg, cuz to him, aggressive cat wuz agressive, an defensive cat wuz defensive; an he had a brudder, hiz brudder's name wuz Joktan.26 Joktan gotz some kidz,27 kinda a lotz a kidz,28 lotz a kidz,29 an some more, yeah, he got himz sum kidz.
30 Now take da 1st left at Mesha 2 Sefar, an u c sum hillz in da east.31 Bai Shem,32 kthxbai.
DIS IZ TEH LOL NU TESTMENT REEDIN
Romanz 3-
1 So iz dere enni point in bein a Jew enniwai?2 Yes! For wun thing Ceiling Cat givded dem hiz wordz.
3 Suppose sum peeplz duzint beleev an trust Ceiling Cat, does dat cauz Ceiling Cat enni problimz?4 No! Ceiling Cat is riet an if u disagreez u iz rong. Liek teh book sez:
"So u can say 'haha i tolded u so'
an win."
5 But spose we iz so bad dat Ceiling Cat proovz how good he iz bai punishin us. Iz dat unfair?6 Well DUH no. Ceiling Cat getz to juj teh whoal wrld.7 Sumwun miet sai "Wel if i iz bad dat maekz Ceiling Cat look good, shudnt i get a cheezburgr for dat?"8 Datz teh saem az sayin "Letz do bad thingz bcz we'll get good rezultz." Sum peeplz saiz we sai dat enniwai but dey iz lyin.
Evriwun iz bad
9 So OK letz sum up. Iz we enni bettr? No!!! We haz areddi sed dat Jews an Gentiles iz both ful of sin.10 Liek teh book sez:
"Dere iz no good peeplz, not evn wun;
11 nobodi undrstandz (dis part is kind of emo LOL)
nobodi triez to find Ceiling Cat.
12 Evribodi iz lookin teh othr wai,
dey iz all worfless;
nobodi duz enni good,
not a singl d00d."
13 "Dere moufz iz liek graevz;
an dere tungz tellz liez."
Dey haz snaek poizn on dere lipz."
14 "Dere moufz iz full of bad wurdz."
15 "Dere clawz iz alwaiz reddi to draw blood;
16 dere iz trubl whaerevr dey goez,
17 an dey duzint evn know ennithin about peece."
18 "Dey iznt afraed of Ceiling Cat neethr, foolz."
19 So if teh law sez ennithin, it sez it to peepl who iz under teh law, so STFU.20 So no wun becomz good by followin teh law. Teh law iz to help us understand about Invisible Errors k.
Whai itz importnt to trust Ceiling Cat
21 So now we knowz about goodness comin from Ceiling Cat. Teh Law an teh profettz tellded us about it.22 We get dis goodness thru beleevin in Jesus.23 Evribodi haz maded Invisible Errors an iznint as good as Ceiling Cat,24 but we can go to hevn enniwai bcz Jesus died to taek awai our Invisible Errors.25 Ceiling Cat did thingz dis wai on purpus,26 to show how niec he iz.
27 So u shudnt be braggin about followin teh law.28 Teh law iznt importnt, beleevin in Jesus iz.29 Ceiling Cat is not just for Jews. He iz for Gentiles too.30 Dere iz onli wun Ceiling Cat, an he wil taek caer of evribodi, Jews an Gentiles both.31 Duz dat mean teh law iz nothin? No LOL!!!
Romanz 3-
1 So iz dere enni point in bein a Jew enniwai?2 Yes! For wun thing Ceiling Cat givded dem hiz wordz.
3 Suppose sum peeplz duzint beleev an trust Ceiling Cat, does dat cauz Ceiling Cat enni problimz?4 No! Ceiling Cat is riet an if u disagreez u iz rong. Liek teh book sez:
"So u can say 'haha i tolded u so'
an win."
5 But spose we iz so bad dat Ceiling Cat proovz how good he iz bai punishin us. Iz dat unfair?6 Well DUH no. Ceiling Cat getz to juj teh whoal wrld.7 Sumwun miet sai "Wel if i iz bad dat maekz Ceiling Cat look good, shudnt i get a cheezburgr for dat?"8 Datz teh saem az sayin "Letz do bad thingz bcz we'll get good rezultz." Sum peeplz saiz we sai dat enniwai but dey iz lyin.
Evriwun iz bad
9 So OK letz sum up. Iz we enni bettr? No!!! We haz areddi sed dat Jews an Gentiles iz both ful of sin.10 Liek teh book sez:
"Dere iz no good peeplz, not evn wun;
11 nobodi undrstandz (dis part is kind of emo LOL)
nobodi triez to find Ceiling Cat.
12 Evribodi iz lookin teh othr wai,
dey iz all worfless;
nobodi duz enni good,
not a singl d00d."
13 "Dere moufz iz liek graevz;
an dere tungz tellz liez."
Dey haz snaek poizn on dere lipz."
14 "Dere moufz iz full of bad wurdz."
15 "Dere clawz iz alwaiz reddi to draw blood;
16 dere iz trubl whaerevr dey goez,
17 an dey duzint evn know ennithin about peece."
18 "Dey iznt afraed of Ceiling Cat neethr, foolz."
19 So if teh law sez ennithin, it sez it to peepl who iz under teh law, so STFU.20 So no wun becomz good by followin teh law. Teh law iz to help us understand about Invisible Errors k.
Whai itz importnt to trust Ceiling Cat
21 So now we knowz about goodness comin from Ceiling Cat. Teh Law an teh profettz tellded us about it.22 We get dis goodness thru beleevin in Jesus.23 Evribodi haz maded Invisible Errors an iznint as good as Ceiling Cat,24 but we can go to hevn enniwai bcz Jesus died to taek awai our Invisible Errors.25 Ceiling Cat did thingz dis wai on purpus,26 to show how niec he iz.
27 So u shudnt be braggin about followin teh law.28 Teh law iznt importnt, beleevin in Jesus iz.29 Ceiling Cat is not just for Jews. He iz for Gentiles too.30 Dere iz onli wun Ceiling Cat, an he wil taek caer of evribodi, Jews an Gentiles both.31 Duz dat mean teh law iz nothin? No LOL!!!
DIS IZ TEH LOL GOSPELL OF TEH LORD
Mark 4- v.1-22
Jesus haz teh storee tymes
1 An so Jesus luvd teh oshunfront properteez an he wen thar to teech teh guise about thingz an ther were so many guise there that Jesus was like "lolz, too menny guise on teh beech, gtg teech on a boat frm teh oshun, an u guise can lissen frm the beech wich is a pretty sweete deal if u ask me."
2 An so he toght them teh lessunz but it wuz those lessunz that were akshully about one thingz even tho Jesus sed the otherz an u had to figur it out urself, wich is hard to do, and he sed:
3 "O hai, so once thar waz a planter gui;
4 An he wuz plantin hiz gardenz an sum of teh seedz got in teh rong playce an the birdz, they cam to eet teh seedz
5 An som of teh seedz they got put on teh roks wich is a dum plaice to plant teh seedz cuz thars no dirt there but teh seedz they groo up newayz
6 An tehn teh sun it came up an teh seedz grone on teh roks, they got pwned bai teh sun cuz sun is too hot 4 teh plantz
7 An some othur seedz, they got put bai teh plantz with teh skary spiky th0rnz an teh th0rnz sux0rx cuz they sckweeze teh plants to ded and teh plantz make no frootz.
8 An sum other seedz they got in teh good dirtz an they groo and groo and mayde teh frootz an made like bazilyunz of frootz."
9 An so Jesus sed "Did u here that guise? Or r u guise def?"
10 An hiz 12 frends, latr that dai were lyke "O hai Jesus, wtf were you even saying in the boat?"
11 An Jesus sed "Hay, u guise are sposed to no wat i was talkn about cuz u hav teh mistery solving skillz, ur lyke sherlok homes an stuff, but those othr guise, the ones on teh beech, they don no teh mistery stuffz so they has to lissen to mai storeez and figur it out themsalvez, lolz."
12 So they can lookz at teh thingz and no wat color those thingz r but not no what it iz an they can here mai wurds and no what teh wurdz r but not get what ahm sayin, but if they r like "o hai Jesus an Ceiling Cat, we r vry sry for bein dum, we can haz halp?" then they can undrstand mai storeez.
13 An Jesus was like "So guise what ahm sayin is if u don no how to undrstand mai storee about teh planterz then u don know much of nething. So I halpz u guise so u stop bein dum."
14 "Teh. Planterz. Wuz. Plantin. Mai. An. Ceiling. Cats. Wurdz.
15 An so teh seedz were rilly mai an Ceiling Cats wurdz an sumtimes teh devilcat, hez lyke teh burdz in teh storee who takes teh stray seedz awai.
16 An tehn there r teh guise who hav teh stonz 4 grownd and mai w0rdz r sooper cool an they r like "omg, new seedz, these pwn, thx Jesus"
17 An but these guise r dum as roks and made of roks so they git excytid about mai wordz jus at furst an then as soone as they hav somethin go rong wit them they r all lyke "omg, Jesus, srsly, ur w0rdz sux0rz, they don w0rkz anymoar. thx but nothxbai."
18 An those seedz that git on teh skary th0rnz, those th0rnz guise here mai w0rdz
19 An they say "o hai jesus, this is nice but i lykes othur thingz like teh moneyz and teh buttsecks, sry" an mai w0rdz dont w0rkz 4 those guise.
20 An then there r good guise who r like "O hai Jesus, u pwn alwayz even wehn mai lyfe kinda sux0rz so lemme maike u sum frootz an u can hav it for dinnerz, lolz."
21 An then Jesus sed "If you haz candel do u put it under a bukkit or under ur bedz? no thats silly, u has to put it on candelstik, rite?
22 An u cant hide nothin frm me or Celing Cat cuz we seez all ur sekritz an moar, lolz, u no how Celing Cat seez u doin things, rotflolz."
go en peas, survz teh lord.
Mark 4- v.1-22
Jesus haz teh storee tymes
1 An so Jesus luvd teh oshunfront properteez an he wen thar to teech teh guise about thingz an ther were so many guise there that Jesus was like "lolz, too menny guise on teh beech, gtg teech on a boat frm teh oshun, an u guise can lissen frm the beech wich is a pretty sweete deal if u ask me."
2 An so he toght them teh lessunz but it wuz those lessunz that were akshully about one thingz even tho Jesus sed the otherz an u had to figur it out urself, wich is hard to do, and he sed:
3 "O hai, so once thar waz a planter gui;
4 An he wuz plantin hiz gardenz an sum of teh seedz got in teh rong playce an the birdz, they cam to eet teh seedz
5 An som of teh seedz they got put on teh roks wich is a dum plaice to plant teh seedz cuz thars no dirt there but teh seedz they groo up newayz
6 An tehn teh sun it came up an teh seedz grone on teh roks, they got pwned bai teh sun cuz sun is too hot 4 teh plantz
7 An some othur seedz, they got put bai teh plantz with teh skary spiky th0rnz an teh th0rnz sux0rx cuz they sckweeze teh plants to ded and teh plantz make no frootz.
8 An sum other seedz they got in teh good dirtz an they groo and groo and mayde teh frootz an made like bazilyunz of frootz."
9 An so Jesus sed "Did u here that guise? Or r u guise def?"
10 An hiz 12 frends, latr that dai were lyke "O hai Jesus, wtf were you even saying in the boat?"
11 An Jesus sed "Hay, u guise are sposed to no wat i was talkn about cuz u hav teh mistery solving skillz, ur lyke sherlok homes an stuff, but those othr guise, the ones on teh beech, they don no teh mistery stuffz so they has to lissen to mai storeez and figur it out themsalvez, lolz."
12 So they can lookz at teh thingz and no wat color those thingz r but not no what it iz an they can here mai wurds and no what teh wurdz r but not get what ahm sayin, but if they r like "o hai Jesus an Ceiling Cat, we r vry sry for bein dum, we can haz halp?" then they can undrstand mai storeez.
13 An Jesus was like "So guise what ahm sayin is if u don no how to undrstand mai storee about teh planterz then u don know much of nething. So I halpz u guise so u stop bein dum."
14 "Teh. Planterz. Wuz. Plantin. Mai. An. Ceiling. Cats. Wurdz.
15 An so teh seedz were rilly mai an Ceiling Cats wurdz an sumtimes teh devilcat, hez lyke teh burdz in teh storee who takes teh stray seedz awai.
16 An tehn there r teh guise who hav teh stonz 4 grownd and mai w0rdz r sooper cool an they r like "omg, new seedz, these pwn, thx Jesus"
17 An but these guise r dum as roks and made of roks so they git excytid about mai wordz jus at furst an then as soone as they hav somethin go rong wit them they r all lyke "omg, Jesus, srsly, ur w0rdz sux0rz, they don w0rkz anymoar. thx but nothxbai."
18 An those seedz that git on teh skary th0rnz, those th0rnz guise here mai w0rdz
19 An they say "o hai jesus, this is nice but i lykes othur thingz like teh moneyz and teh buttsecks, sry" an mai w0rdz dont w0rkz 4 those guise.
20 An then there r good guise who r like "O hai Jesus, u pwn alwayz even wehn mai lyfe kinda sux0rz so lemme maike u sum frootz an u can hav it for dinnerz, lolz."
21 An then Jesus sed "If you haz candel do u put it under a bukkit or under ur bedz? no thats silly, u has to put it on candelstik, rite?
22 An u cant hide nothin frm me or Celing Cat cuz we seez all ur sekritz an moar, lolz, u no how Celing Cat seez u doin things, rotflolz."
go en peas, survz teh lord.
