Friday, December 08, 2006
i also visited him in baraboo aain. was that 02' or 03'. he actually said marriage. 'if you move to milwaukee'. i asked him if benedicte brings me to africa to come with me.
we were gonna do marquette together in 03' i think. but he ot pulled over speeding and he had an open beer abnd he had to stay in iowa. the year his sister died i believe. if only if only if only and it's killing me. if only i had been more forward, less shy, if only he had pushed me to to to.
i didn't listen to crappy diem.
through letters, on the page, we were so......compatible. phone calls. we liked similar music. books. politics. we could just talk. just talk.
and it's gone. i can never send him a love letter. i'll never get another call.
this is worse than when my grandfather/daddy died.
and i was only in his presence about 2 weeks.
god, this is crappy, but i don't spll my guts to people much and i could tell him everything.
so i do. i don't care if i am pestering him in heaven. price he fucking pays for leaving me.
i did clinton again the next year. no keith, that tall potter. oh darn. oh, i have his card, i will write him a letter and ask if he is gonna be in WI. and so i did. keith wrote me back. will be in baraboo and green bay. sarah and i drive up to baraboo. very nice day. she of course hugs him. i'm reserved. i sit and chat.
that was our 3rd meeting.
later, sarah says. he likes you.
i think that year if i remember riht. i am in the green bay show. i go and see his stuff. he comes over, but sarah said he likes me and i get horribly shy. i do shake his hand. he has such a big hand. and i am semi-proud of my handshake.
when did i start writting him and he back? i don't know, but i got to know him in letters, i of course sent way more. maybe that year he told me his youngest had cancer. at that time, because of that he had nice grey hair at the temples. i adore grey hair.
his son recovered and somewhere around then his marriage disolved. i suppose the latters came after the divorce.
God i miss him. it just isn't fair. not fucking fair.....
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
sybil was in front the puter room's doorway. guarding it. keeping pansy out. where there's a will, there's a way for pansy to make it to my nice warm lap. to bypass sybil, she jumped on a sweater laden box and made her way in.
i have to explain my puter set up. my blue i-mac sits on a crappy 80's teevee stand. in front of it are 2 early 70's crappy endtables. my 'desk'. so, sybil will be on the puter getting warm and basil will pick a fight. hard to read the puter of course. so they fight a bit til sybil gets off and basil gets on. pansy and cosmo would do the same thing. cosmo would pick a fight to get the chair pansy was in. i told sybil what he was doing, but she won't listen to me.
still broken hearted. just not fair he's gone and assholes like strom thurmond live to 100.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
110? weeks of Bush to go
Bolton, the walrus to skedaddle
Gates gives georgie's IWaq a losing paddle
110? weeks of Bush to go
Sunday, December 03, 2006
in 2000. the same year as Clinton, IA. i did a July art fair in Appleton. i was in a sort of back water of the show. ooh, WE BE POOPIN kettle corn(when they used white popcorn). did walk around. OOH, that tall potter's stuff, from IA, don't see him. he had a fish i liked this time. buy it. go back with big bag of popcorn.
ooh, keith of course has sold most of his stuff and he comes by and we chat and i stuff my face. he is sooo nice.
i sell ok like usual.
it was a beautiful day.