pansypoo's personal rant page.

THURS IN DES MOINES

i can't remember which day keith said i should get my train ticket to go back on Fri. i didn't WANT to go so soon, but i said ok.
he thought i was bored. i wasn't bored. i am just quiet by nature.
well, thurs he had to go see somebody about tax issues. so while he was there. i looked thru his book collection. oy vey, thomas Crapkaid?? hope that was a gift. lots of potting books.
i wrote some letters on tues. or wed.
oh, i forgot the balls of hair i brought for skippy to play with. i make them fro a special brush for fur coats. cats LOVE it and you can peel the hair off and with a little spit make balls. skippy did not hiss, so that would be good to bring our cats together. right?
sigh. we had some pea soup for lunch.
keith also went to an aussie fried's house who was having a little pre-Xmas sale and he set up his leftover pots and such. had a cool house. she had some nice antiques and a cat.
then keith decided to take me for another drive around and to a park and nearby the des moines art center. very neat and free. in the entry area they had a print section which was way cool.
sigh. imaybe keith didn't sense it, but i really liked it. i didn't realise how inscrutable i am. went back to his house and did some talking before going out to eat. he had a gift certicate to a posh italian place close by. he sort of wavered on that or something else. it was very packed. i was ok with that and we were able to get seated at a tiby table neat the front. it was very cozy. damn. i don't much care for going out, but i guess you could say it was a date. but we were so. perfect. it seemed perfect to me.waitress was very helpful, he insisted i get a glass of wine. hard to decide as i know nothing, other to avoid california wines. i find them boring.

it was pretty late when we got back and had to get to osceola at 8 am. took a shower. and he was watching rita whats her name. there had been a tornado in IA i guess. i guess we both could use sleep. i asked to watch the colbert show. he missed the bullet points during the word, so he didn't understand why i was laughing.
damn. i had to leave tomorrow.
i liked being in his bed. being with him. i was beginning to realise how much i had smiled while i was there. i don't do that normally.
he had touched me enough to know i liked that. (wore very touchable stuff!) this whole trip was to see if i could fall in love(little did i know i had-never been in love, how could i tell), because he was already expressing it. i had to know because i didn't want hurt him. to toy with him. he was too good. too special.
plus, i suppose i am cautious. like a cat.

well, i suppose this all sounds lame, or sad, but it was what it was.
most of our relationship was through letters and phone calls.