Saturday, August 25, 2012
Nothing, by the way, is included in this sale except the jar, the lid and the dead sock monkey. I retrieved the things they’d stolen from me, and they are not for sale. I hadn’t missed the Agnew button, but that’s just like a sock monkey – stealing an Agnew button.
During our previous infestation, two of them explained the burial ritual to us, and it is quite complex. I’ll give them one thing: They’re relatively smart, and most are fluent in English, French and Farsi, not mention their native tongue, which has a name but can’t be pronounced by humans since we only have one set of vocal cords. Sock monkeys have two, and they can use them separately or in tandem. If used in tandem, normally when terrified of something (such as me sticking a paring knife in one's belly), the sound, although mostly outside the range of human hearing, has been known to produce widespread power outages.
