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Sunday, May 13, 2012

 
DIS IZ TEH LOL OLD TESTMENT REEDING

Numbrz 21. vursz 21-35


Sihon and Og Get PWNED
21 Israel sentz messenjah-kats on2 Sihon bosskat kyng uv Amorites. Tehy askx:
22 "Oh hai! We be guud kittehs. We can haz go acroxx yer contree? We no eatz yer fuud. We no drinx yer watter. We stayz on teh rode. K? Thxbye."
23 Sihon no wuz smart. He wantz catfite! He bringz Amorite soljah-kittehs 2 Jahaz an battlz wit Israel.24 Israel winz! Israel 1 - Amorites 0. Sihon iz sord-stabbz to deth. An Israel taiks ovr Amorite contree, rite to Ammonite bordrz.25 Israel pwns an occupyz all Amorite citees, even Heshbon an suburbz.26 Heshbon wuz sitee of now-dedded Sihon hoo had tuuk land-grouwnd offa teh topcat uv Moab.
27 Histree flashbak - Teh poetz sez "Letz put Heshbon bak togedder.
28 "Sihon had dun left Heshbon and pwned Moab'z kittehs in Ar. Srsly.
29 "Oh Noes, Moab! U R busted up reel guud. Kittehs uv Chernosh. Yur sonz all runz awai. Yu dawters R slaiv-gurls 4 Sihon topkat uv Amorites.
30 "But Israel dun haz winned an bustd up Heshbon and suburbz all teh wai to Dibon, Nophah an Medeba. Busted up reel good."
31 Israel can haz contree an setz up in Amorite-landz.
32 Moses sendz owt spies-cats 2 Jazer, an soon afftr Israel beats up taht area an drivz awai teh Amorites livvin ther. "You goes awai nao!"33 Tehn evriwun is off up teh rode toward Bashan, to meetz wif Bashan topcat Kynge Og. Hee bringz Bashan armee 2 meeting. Thiz meetng iz akchually sword-fite battl.
34 Ceiling Cat sez 2 Moses "Go ahed an fite! I maik yur battle win with teh Amorites. Nao it happenz agen. Doant be skeered. Yu getz to defeet thiz new armee and getz all ther landz an cheezburgrs."
35 So Israel kittehs killx Og an hiz suns an all hiz armee. They winzors all teh landz an stuffs. Yay fur Israel!


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