pansypoo's personal rant page.

DIS IZ TEH LOL GOSPELL

Mark 4 vursus 23-41

Jesus has moar storee tymes
23 An Jesus was like "O hay guise, I sed for u to lisen"
24 An Jesus sed "O hai, I hop u were lisenin cuz ur gonna hav a pop kwiz on this l8r this week, srsly.
25 An if u get a gud grayd, u will git cheezburgz an if u git bad grayds u will git all ur cheezburgz pwned, srsly."
26 An Jesus sed "So if u wan to b frends wit me an Ceiling Cat, itz jus lyke bein a planterz and plantin seedz;
27 An sleepin even wehn thares no sun pach to sleez in an gettin up at all tymes of teh dai and seein ur seedz groe and groe even if u don no how they groe.
28 An u see teh frootz on teh plantz lyke a leaf an sum cormz, like earz of cormz, even tho itz not frootz it groez lyke frootz but neway u no wat I mean."
29 "Neway wehn they gotz teh frootz or corms or whatevr, they alwayz jus put it in a box at teh harvist tyme!"
30 An Jesus sed "Letz plai a game, lolz. Pretendz Ceiling House is lyke a seed, wat shud it be?"
31 An evry1 was lyke "omg, letz make it lyke a wat0rmelonz" or "letz hav it be catnipz, rotflolz." But Jesus sed "Ok, gaime ovr, its a musterd seed." an teh guise were lyke "wtf Jesus, musterds are too smal" and Jesus sed "I no, thats on purpis Im Jesus remembur, u jus lisen to mai w0rdz."
32 Jesus sed "Wehn musterd seedz groez itz like pwnz0rz!!! Musterd seeds gigant0rz an make big treez an branchiz an all those berdz can be flyin in an undor teh treez an chillin in teh shaydez an stuffz."
33 An Jesus jus kept tellin teh guise hiz w0rdz an ovr an ovr jus wit difrent storeez an teh guise herd teh storeez.
34 But Jesus he nevr sed teh w0rdz of hizelf an Ceiling Cat unles it was lyke a storeez cuz teh guise were always lyke "Is it can be plz storeez tyme now plzkthx?" An he alwayz xplaynd teh storeez to teh disyplez l8r so they wud no all teh thingz.
[edit] Jesus pwns teh windz an oshunz
35 An so when storeeztyme was dun, Jesus was all lyke "Hay guise, letz blow tis popsickle standz, srsly."
36 An so they were all lyke "Storeez tyme, itz ovr, u guise can go hom now plz kthxbai." An Jesus an teh disyplez got on teh getaway boat an went to teh oshun an there was lots of other boats there too.
37 An whooooooosh, ther was lots of st0rmz and windz an there wuz waterz in teh boats an evry1 sed "O noes! Kittehs h8 teh waterz! Halp!"
38 An Jesus, he was jus sleepz on a pilowe, dreemin of corms an wat0rmel0nz an teh guise went an waked him up an sed "Jesus, srsly, we r gonna be ded soon an u don even care?"
39 An Jesus got up an was like "O hay wind u stop pwning mai boat an oshun u stop pwning mai boat too." An wudnt u no, teh wind an oshun stopd pwning.
40 An Jesus sed "R u srsly skaredy kittehs? I thot u had fayth in me."
41 An of corse all teh guise were skaredy kittehs an they were lyke "Ok, srsly, wtf is Jesus even sayin cuz who can make all teh windz and oshuns obay him an not b skary doin it?"

go in pees, servz teh cieling cat, tnx b too cieling cat.