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LOL NEW TESTMENT REEDING

this iz teh new testment reeding-

AX 6-1 During time wen deesipels wer gettin moar deesipels, teh Greasin Joos wer complaynin. Dey sed Heebrayk Joos wer gettin moar fud for der windows.2 Teh Twelv got awl deesipels togethr an sed, "dis stoopid. We wurship Ceiling Cat, knot bring cookies.3 Bros. Chooz seven guys full uf spearamint and wizdum. We maek dem maek cookies4 wile we pray n stuf."
5 Dis pleezes dem. Dey chooz Steevn, Filip, Prorororos, Nikanur, Tymin, Pancreas, and Nikolas.6 Dey show dem to Apossulz, who preyd and laid on dem.
7 So dey spred Ceiling Cat wurdz. An dey gets bunches moar deesipels in Joosalem, an teh preests do wut dey told.
8 Steevn wuz full uf Ceiling Cat power. He mayd majix for teh ppl.9 But teh Joos of Styrene an Alekzanderia an Silly-see-ya an Ayja getted pissd. Dey argoo wif Steevn10 but dey wuz all pwned bi Steevn's wizdum and spearamint.
11 Dey say to uthr mans, "Shhhh, dis sekrit! Steevn hates Ceiling Cat. Oh, an Mozus. kthnks."
12 So ppl gets pissd at Steevn. Dey taked him to da Salmonheedrin.13 And dey brung liarz who sed, "Dis dude sez he hates laws an holes.14 He sez Jebus of Nazbatazz will pwn dis playce an take away da stuffs we gots frum Mozus."
15 All teh ppl eating Salmonheedrin lukd at Steevn an sawed dat he lookd liek an aingel.