Sunday, December 09, 2007
SUNDI LOLCAT CHURCH POST-old testment reedin-
dooduronomee 1-
Ceiling Cat sez GTFO Horeb
1 oh hai I is deutronomy and this is transcripshin of words mozes sed to ppl in the desert. k here they are:2 first I tells u it is 11 days to go from horeb to kadesh cuz of sum montins. 4 sum reson u shud no this. k, now start 4 real:
3 On november 1st, 40, mozes was transl8n 4 ceiling cat, cuz ceiling cat wuz tellin ppl what 2 do4 k wait i forgot 2 tell u, but this is after mozes killed some kings that were making him angry. k, no moar intrupshins:
5 k wait again, btw they were in a place calld moab (sry). neway, mozes was tellin a story to sum ppl about his advencher with them. mayb they were forgetful, cuz they were there too, even I was there sept i forget so u need to listn to mozes instid, here he is, take it away mozes:
6 K, so it starts off when ceiling cat says u guys r on this meowntin 4 too long7 so u can has jurnee and go a diffrint montin. Is called amorites. also u shud go to youfrates river. and even further. just gtfo the montin ffs.8 k so here is a map, and u shud be thankful cuz I am tellin u about ur land. Is yours. Is ur land becuz remember when ceiling cat said ur fathers cud hav this land, so u can has.
Bosscats R Namd
9 Remember when that happend? ya, i was lik the only one doing any werk at the time.10 except now ceilng cat was watching u guyz do each other LOL so now there is lots of u, so u can do werk11 oh ya and ceilng cat was like LOL u guyz shud do it even moar when u get off the montin.12 i meen srsly i cant do all the werk13 Ok, on with the story. so u can has govermint, and i was said whether it is good or not
14 and u were all: kthx
15 i mad u a govermint with ur smart doods.16 then i mad a supreem court and said to be fair to everyone, not just ur frends.17 k so i sed to be gud at juging. abd dont be cowrds, ceiling cat will protict u becuz relly he is juging u or something. neway if it is too hard u can just tell me and i will judg it for u.18 so ya, remember that time i mad ur governmint? that was cool.
Spiez Go For Looksee
19 k so after i mad ur govermint then we went on the jurnee i was talkin about b4, cuz ceiling cat told us to. we went from horeb to kadesh (this is why i was talkin abut it b4, k so it tooks 11 days). it was prity scary. we went to mont kadesh. sry i forgot to say kadesh is in amorites. is same thing basicaly.20 neway, i was like, 'ok we're here, and ceiling cat is giving u ur land. Yours.'21 and i said 'ceiling cat says 'this is urs.' don't be scard.'
22 then u guys wer all 'ok so how r we going to go up the mowtin?' and like 'which cities can we ransack or whatever' and then u were all 'lets send out some guys to chek things out'
23 and i said is gud idea. so i got 12 of ur men fro ur tribs. k u guys proly remember this, but neway...24 so they went up in the hills and cheked out the eschol vally.25 they didnt find ne cities but they found sum frut and brot it back and said 'ceiling cat's idea was prety good chek it the frut we finded'
Ceiling Cat Iz Oppozd!
26 but then u guys were lazy and thought the montin was too big to clim, even tho i told u ceilng cat ordred u to go up.27 and then u wined about how ceiling cat was trying to kill and u said the ppl in the amorits are going to kill us, that was ceiling cats plan all along. and u sed egypt was way bettr.28 u said 'we cant go up, ther cities HUJE and they will kill us, speshilly becuz Anak ppl are ther.'
29 so I sed 'chill out and stop being pussies'30 and I told u 'ceiling cat is going to fight too, just like when he fighted with u in egypt, remember?'31 'and remember when on ur jurnee ceiling cat carried u guys down the montin ffs. i think he can handle this."
32 eksept u guys were all 'wait that didnt happen' and 'is he rly going to help?' and u still didnt trust ceiling cat.33 ceiling cat even finded u places to camp and stuf, I meen srsly, dont u remember?
34 Ya, but i bet u remembr what happend next: Ceiling cat got pissed off is what happend next.35 he said "then no, u cant has land. Not Yours."36 and he added 'eksept for Caleb who did what i sed.'
37 and then he sed even I cant has the land.38 He tells me 'Joshua (is my assistant) can has land instead. Not yours.'39 Ceiling cat sed though that 'ur kids can has the land tho...40 ...but u guys need to gtfo. hows about u tak ur jurnee to the red sea and mak like a tree and leev.'
41 Then u guys all chanjd ur mind and were all 'oh shit!! ok we can has fight now, ceiling cat, we r sory, srsly.'
42 But ceiling cat was all 'is too late. i is not acceptin ur apologies. if u go fight now u will be pwned cuz i not fightin with u'
43 and then lol and behold, u went up neway like a bunch of noobs44 and then u were pwned just lik ceiling cat sed, and they chasd u off the montin (all the way from Seir to Hormah.)45 then u came back and u cried. and u were all 'ceiling cat why u no help us?' but ceiling cat was lik 'duh, i told u i was not going 2 help u' and put u on ignore.46 so u guys stayed in kadesh for awhile not doing anything rly... anyone else think is weird i am telling u what happen to urselves? neway, that's the end of chaptir one.
ktnxbai
dooduronomee 1-
Ceiling Cat sez GTFO Horeb
1 oh hai I is deutronomy and this is transcripshin of words mozes sed to ppl in the desert. k here they are:2 first I tells u it is 11 days to go from horeb to kadesh cuz of sum montins. 4 sum reson u shud no this. k, now start 4 real:
3 On november 1st, 40, mozes was transl8n 4 ceiling cat, cuz ceiling cat wuz tellin ppl what 2 do4 k wait i forgot 2 tell u, but this is after mozes killed some kings that were making him angry. k, no moar intrupshins:
5 k wait again, btw they were in a place calld moab (sry). neway, mozes was tellin a story to sum ppl about his advencher with them. mayb they were forgetful, cuz they were there too, even I was there sept i forget so u need to listn to mozes instid, here he is, take it away mozes:
6 K, so it starts off when ceiling cat says u guys r on this meowntin 4 too long7 so u can has jurnee and go a diffrint montin. Is called amorites. also u shud go to youfrates river. and even further. just gtfo the montin ffs.8 k so here is a map, and u shud be thankful cuz I am tellin u about ur land. Is yours. Is ur land becuz remember when ceiling cat said ur fathers cud hav this land, so u can has.
Bosscats R Namd
9 Remember when that happend? ya, i was lik the only one doing any werk at the time.10 except now ceilng cat was watching u guyz do each other LOL so now there is lots of u, so u can do werk11 oh ya and ceilng cat was like LOL u guyz shud do it even moar when u get off the montin.12 i meen srsly i cant do all the werk13 Ok, on with the story. so u can has govermint, and i was said whether it is good or not
14 and u were all: kthx
15 i mad u a govermint with ur smart doods.16 then i mad a supreem court and said to be fair to everyone, not just ur frends.17 k so i sed to be gud at juging. abd dont be cowrds, ceiling cat will protict u becuz relly he is juging u or something. neway if it is too hard u can just tell me and i will judg it for u.18 so ya, remember that time i mad ur governmint? that was cool.
Spiez Go For Looksee
19 k so after i mad ur govermint then we went on the jurnee i was talkin about b4, cuz ceiling cat told us to. we went from horeb to kadesh (this is why i was talkin abut it b4, k so it tooks 11 days). it was prity scary. we went to mont kadesh. sry i forgot to say kadesh is in amorites. is same thing basicaly.20 neway, i was like, 'ok we're here, and ceiling cat is giving u ur land. Yours.'21 and i said 'ceiling cat says 'this is urs.' don't be scard.'
22 then u guys wer all 'ok so how r we going to go up the mowtin?' and like 'which cities can we ransack or whatever' and then u were all 'lets send out some guys to chek things out'
23 and i said is gud idea. so i got 12 of ur men fro ur tribs. k u guys proly remember this, but neway...24 so they went up in the hills and cheked out the eschol vally.25 they didnt find ne cities but they found sum frut and brot it back and said 'ceiling cat's idea was prety good chek it the frut we finded'
Ceiling Cat Iz Oppozd!
26 but then u guys were lazy and thought the montin was too big to clim, even tho i told u ceilng cat ordred u to go up.27 and then u wined about how ceiling cat was trying to kill and u said the ppl in the amorits are going to kill us, that was ceiling cats plan all along. and u sed egypt was way bettr.28 u said 'we cant go up, ther cities HUJE and they will kill us, speshilly becuz Anak ppl are ther.'
29 so I sed 'chill out and stop being pussies'30 and I told u 'ceiling cat is going to fight too, just like when he fighted with u in egypt, remember?'31 'and remember when on ur jurnee ceiling cat carried u guys down the montin ffs. i think he can handle this."
32 eksept u guys were all 'wait that didnt happen' and 'is he rly going to help?' and u still didnt trust ceiling cat.33 ceiling cat even finded u places to camp and stuf, I meen srsly, dont u remember?
34 Ya, but i bet u remembr what happend next: Ceiling cat got pissed off is what happend next.35 he said "then no, u cant has land. Not Yours."36 and he added 'eksept for Caleb who did what i sed.'
37 and then he sed even I cant has the land.38 He tells me 'Joshua (is my assistant) can has land instead. Not yours.'39 Ceiling cat sed though that 'ur kids can has the land tho...40 ...but u guys need to gtfo. hows about u tak ur jurnee to the red sea and mak like a tree and leev.'
41 Then u guys all chanjd ur mind and were all 'oh shit!! ok we can has fight now, ceiling cat, we r sory, srsly.'
42 But ceiling cat was all 'is too late. i is not acceptin ur apologies. if u go fight now u will be pwned cuz i not fightin with u'
43 and then lol and behold, u went up neway like a bunch of noobs44 and then u were pwned just lik ceiling cat sed, and they chasd u off the montin (all the way from Seir to Hormah.)45 then u came back and u cried. and u were all 'ceiling cat why u no help us?' but ceiling cat was lik 'duh, i told u i was not going 2 help u' and put u on ignore.46 so u guys stayed in kadesh for awhile not doing anything rly... anyone else think is weird i am telling u what happen to urselves? neway, that's the end of chaptir one.
ktnxbai
