Saturday, March 28, 2009
RANDOM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA
DARIUS III- surnamed codomannus, the last of the persian monarchs, succeeded artaxerxes III 336bc. son of arsanes, nephew of artaxerxes II. wife 'sister' sisygambis. good warrior. eunich bagoas poisoned artaxerxes, DIII got rid of bagoas by making him drink poison. his character tho was mild + amiable + handsome(brad pitt), but not good leader + defeated by alexander of macedon.
DASHKOFF, CATHERINA ROMANOFA WORONZOF princess- 1714-1810 3rd daughter of count roman woronzoff, member of russian senate, intellectual. received exceptional education, having displayed at an early age 'masculine' ability + 'masculine' tastes w/ made her career singular. well versed in mthmatics(masculine!) + literature. fav authors bayle, montesquien, boileau, + voltaire. was connected w/ russian court + became part of the party attached to grand duchess (catherine the great), before 16 married prince dashkoff + went to live in moscow. in 1762 at st. petersburg + leading part in the coup de' etat of catherine's. her sis(the stupid) was the king's misstress. elizabeth.
her manners were blunt, scorn of the male favorites of C the G. broke w/ C the G + she asked to travel. 1768, grand tour of europe(hubby deead). 1782 back in russia + C the G back in her favor + appointed her director of the russianacademy of arts + science + did a great job. on emp paul's accession canned, but brought back partially til her death.
The Silence of the SOCK MONKEY Doll, IT WASN’T MY FAULT
I awoke this morning feeling as relaxed as I have for several months. If you’ve been following along with me here at 341 for a spell, you’ll recall I had a terrible experience a few weeks back with a family of sock monkeys who moved into our home. It has taken me this long to get over it, but I finally decided to put it out of my mind. I sold them on eBay, and shipped them off to some poor soul in the Carolinas someplace . . . bless her heart.
So I got up, fed Sammy the cat and sat down to read the on-line papers. It was still well before sunrise. That’s when I heard something scratching on the screen door. Actually Sammy heard it first. I could tell he sensed evil.
I opened the door, and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Evidently the word is out among the sock monkeys immigrating into this country from their homeland of West Nanzkeepoo (The “z” is silent.). One of them had found my house and climbed up onto the screen door. He was carrying a box cutter. I guess he thought everyone would be asleep.
I don’t know whether I was more frightened or just alarmed. (You’ll only know the feeling if you’ve ever been infested with these vile creatures.) I just opened the door, grabbed him by the tail and tossed him in a cage I have sitting here in my eBay room. I’d have to deal with him later.
If one DOES ever get in your house, grab him by the tail and hold him out at arm’s length. They DO bite, and they have a tropical monkey weevil, in their saliva that will cause a painful and long-lasting infection. So be warned.
He kept shaking the cage, all the while telling me what a kind and gentle soul he is. He said if I’d let him out and give him just a small snack and a sip of milk he’d be on his way. I got tired of hearing him yammer on and on and on – so I let him out and told him to sit down ‘til I finished up one more eBay listing.
Well, it wasn’t two minutes. I turned around and there he was trying to pry open an antique light fixture I had sitting on my photo table. I grabbed him by the tail again and slammed him down in a chair. “SIT THERE!” I yelled. (Man – Do I hate sock monkeys!) I went back to work on my computer. Within a few seconds, I heard a low growl. Actually, it’s more of a hissing sound. That’s when I glanced over toward where I’d plopped him down.
That’s the first time I’d seen his face. When I turned, he was just about two feet from me. I’m not sure what he had in mind, but I can tell you this: All the blood rushed out of my face and neck. He is obviously the most foul and evil creature I’ve ever seen – even for a sock monkey.
I realized there was very little I could do. They’re a protected species, you know. So I told him I’d get his snack in a couple minutes. Meantime, I’d leave him out of the cage if he’d just promise to stay in THIS ROOM. (He swore he would.)
I went to refill my coffee cup. When I came back, there he was , , , trying to steal my soup can! (You have to admire their ingenuity. Since they don’t have thumbs, they have to rig up rudimentary tools.) I just ignored him since I knew he couldn’t get far with it, but I did hurry up my work a little so I could get him on his way.
I suppose I’d better warn you right now. I only have spotty recollections about what happened next, but I can assure you, children and those with weak hearts should leave the room. I heard a commotion behind me.
When I turned around, he had both arms loaded with part of a collection of old advertising ice picks I just bought. He was trying to make off with’m, and a young sock monkey like this one is fast as a roach. I guess I’ll never know what happened next, exactly. I just snapped.
I THINK he tripped. Since I blacked out, I don’t know for sure, but he must have tripped twice, falling once on his back and then again on his stomach. What ever! I felt his wrist, and I put a mirror under his nose. Nothing. He was a goner – dead as a doornail.
A lesser man would have panicked. But not me. I grew up learning you let nothing go to waste. Besides, I’d heard they’re pretty good if you know how to clean’m
So I carried him outside, and I was just about to start when I heard my dear spouse, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed, yell out. “What the devil are you doing! Don’t even THINK about it! Where’d he come from anyway? I thought we got rid of them a few weeks ago.”
I told her what had happened, and that I saw no need to let it go to waste.
She said, “Forget about it. I’m not letting you do it. Besides, they taste gamey. They don’t even make good gravy. Carry him in the kitchen.” So I did.
She laid him out in the freezer and told me to go ahead and list him on eBay. “After all,” she said, “someone might want to have him stuffed by a taxidermist, and we don’t want him smelling up the house. (I’ll have to admit it. She DOES come up with some good ideas sometime.)
I’m really glad to have a good woman around the house. She thinks of everything. Now I can relax again. I think I’ll fry some baloney and make a sandwich. Iced tea sounds good.
Friday, March 27, 2009
DARIUS II- ochus before his accession + nothos after (on account of his being 1 of 17 bastard sons of artaxerxes (ongumanus), 9th king of persian empire. made satraj of hyrenna + married parysatis, daughter of xerxes I + had several children, 2 daughters, amestris + artosta, + arsaces or arsisus, who succeed him under name artaxerxes(mnemon) + cyrus the younger. sogdianus or secydianus, murderer of xerxes II, defeated by DII + crown(diadem) 424bc DII under powr of wife P + 3 eunichs. 19 yr reign full of insurrection + revolts. blah blah
i offered a serving spoon and this teaspoon to my cousin(already gave her a pie server in the pattern cause it is similar to her doorknob face plates). she didn't want the teaspoon and too clean hell, gonna use for my coffee. and that started it. i have about 6 or so. actually auntie giving me my favorite spoon she had really made me think out side the box. -coffee spoons!