DIS IZ TEH LOL OLD TESTMENT REEDINF
Jugjes 3, verse 1-11
Ceiling Cat wantz teh j00s 2 kick ass
1 Dis is teh list of teh placez teh Ceiling Cat left 4 teh j00s so dey cood l2p if dey no had fott warz b4.2 (He do dis so teh j00s is can stil kix ass)3 Teh 5 Filistinez, teh canenites teh sidonians and hekka mor. You wantz to maek list, ok, but Ceiling cat biseh.4 Ceiling Cat not pwn thez ppls so he can test teh j00s, to c if they was gud nuf to do his stuf.
5 Teh j00s livd wid all thez ppl.6 Teh boi-j00s was havvin sexxx0rs wit da not-j00-gurls, and teh gurl-j00s was sexx0rzing with teh not-j00-bois. Werst of al, teh j00s wer make pretend othr ppls gods wer leik Ceiling Cat.
Othniel be funneh naem, but he can has laser i's
7 Teh j00s did bad stuf to Ceiling Cat. They forgotted him N maeked warships to othrz.8 Cause of dis, Ceiling Cat waz leik "Screw u guyz" and he solded dem to Cushan-Rishathaim king of Aram Naharaim, which is hekka funneh naem, more funnyz dan Othniel, who is dis othr guy we iz bout 2 tokk bout. Oh hai, sry, iz distracted.9 Cushan-d00d ruled teh j00z for leik 8 yrs. This maeked teh j00s sad, so dey tokk to Ceiling Cat and sez "Oh noes! Sry! Helps us plz. Kthnxbye." Teh Ceiling Cat teld Othniel (teh other funny-naem guy) to be helpin dem.10 Ceiling Cat givd Othniel hiz awsum laser eyes so Othniel cood kick ass of teh 1st funneh-naem guy. Aftar he killt him, he bcum teh bosscat of all teh j00z.11 He waz bosscat 4 leik forty yrs til he dyd. OH NOES!