Sunday, April 09, 2017
DIS IZ TEH LOL OLD TESTMENT REEDING
Jugjes sx
1 Ceiling Cat herded dem yellen at him, 2 so he sended a profet too telz dem "Ceiling Cat sez: I taekd yoos owt frum Egipps An maeded yoos nawt slaevs. 3 I rescood yoos An gaevd yoos cheezburgrs An cookies An bukkits. 4 I seded 'I am teh Ceiling Cat. DO NOT WANT yoos worshippen teh ceiling cat uv teh Amorites, whar yoos liffs nao.' Butts yoos nawt lissen."
1 Den Ceiling Cat's burdcat caem dun and sitted unda teh oak in Ophrah (dey watchd Ophrah in da treez bak den cuz TV wusnt invenshiond yet). Dis d00d cawld Gideon wuz watchen da tree dat dai. 2 An teh burdcat seded too Gideon, "Ceiling Cat iz wif yoo, maity cat uv pwnz0rz." 3 An Gideon seded, "WTF??? Iff Ceiling Cat be wif uz den wai we all has hungries An stuffz? An wez awl heared abowt hiz majikz but wez nawt seen no majiks heer. Srsly. Ceiling Cat jus bringed uz frum Ejipps to teh Midianites so he can has laffs wehn we getz pwnz0rd." 4 An Ceiling Cat seded "Calm down, srsly. Yoos can saves Israel frum Midianites nao. I halps yoo."5 An Gideon seded "Iz still nawt convinsde. Iz can has sine???" 6 An Ceiling Cat seded, "K yoo can has sine. Teh sine iz dat Ai haz hungrees nao. U bringz me present uv fuds K?" 7 So Gideon wented insied An maded cheezburgrz An cookees An milkshaek An he did not eated dem cuz dey was fur Ceiling Cat. 8 An den teh burdcat uv Ceiling Cat seded to Gideon, "Putz teh fuds apwn teh roXXorz An den poor teh milkshaek ovah dem." So Gideon dided et. 9 An den teh burdcat uv Ceiling Cat putted hiz paw apwn teh fuds An dere was heeps uv fiers cummin frum teh roXXors An teh fiers eated teh cheezburgr An cookees An milkshaek. Den teh burdcat dispeerd. 10 And den Gideon seded "OMG Iz Ceiling Cat, srsly!!1!!! "
Jugjes sx
Gideon's jus dis gai, ukno...
1 Nao Israelites wer beein bad kittehs so Ceiling Cat let teh Midianites gif dem smaks. 2 Midianites wuz heeps strongur dan teh Israelites an so teh Israelites wud go hied in da mowntens an caevs. 3 Butt dey stil gotz haselld bai der Midianites An deir homiez, teh Amalekites an udders. 4 Teh Midianites An deir homiez wud stompz awl ovah deir veggi patchs an maek deded deir moocaos An sheeps An rhinoceruses. 5 Den teh Midianites An deir homiez den putted deir own moocaos An sheeps and camuls (dey dinut has rhinoceruses) whair der Isralites liffed. 6 So teh Israelites no has plaice to gro deir fuds and dey has lots uv hungries An so dey sed "Halp Ceiling Cat, wes has a hungries, let us sho yoo it!!!1!"
1 Ceiling Cat herded dem yellen at him, 2 so he sended a profet too telz dem "Ceiling Cat sez: I taekd yoos owt frum Egipps An maeded yoos nawt slaevs. 3 I rescood yoos An gaevd yoos cheezburgrs An cookies An bukkits. 4 I seded 'I am teh Ceiling Cat. DO NOT WANT yoos worshippen teh ceiling cat uv teh Amorites, whar yoos liffs nao.' Butts yoos nawt lissen."
1 Den Ceiling Cat's burdcat caem dun and sitted unda teh oak in Ophrah (dey watchd Ophrah in da treez bak den cuz TV wusnt invenshiond yet). Dis d00d cawld Gideon wuz watchen da tree dat dai. 2 An teh burdcat seded too Gideon, "Ceiling Cat iz wif yoo, maity cat uv pwnz0rz." 3 An Gideon seded, "WTF??? Iff Ceiling Cat be wif uz den wai we all has hungries An stuffz? An wez awl heared abowt hiz majikz but wez nawt seen no majiks heer. Srsly. Ceiling Cat jus bringed uz frum Ejipps to teh Midianites so he can has laffs wehn we getz pwnz0rd." 4 An Ceiling Cat seded "Calm down, srsly. Yoos can saves Israel frum Midianites nao. I halps yoo."5 An Gideon seded "Iz still nawt convinsde. Iz can has sine???" 6 An Ceiling Cat seded, "K yoo can has sine. Teh sine iz dat Ai haz hungrees nao. U bringz me present uv fuds K?" 7 So Gideon wented insied An maded cheezburgrz An cookees An milkshaek An he did not eated dem cuz dey was fur Ceiling Cat. 8 An den teh burdcat uv Ceiling Cat seded to Gideon, "Putz teh fuds apwn teh roXXorz An den poor teh milkshaek ovah dem." So Gideon dided et. 9 An den teh burdcat uv Ceiling Cat putted hiz paw apwn teh fuds An dere was heeps uv fiers cummin frum teh roXXors An teh fiers eated teh cheezburgr An cookees An milkshaek. Den teh burdcat dispeerd. 10 And den Gideon seded "OMG Iz Ceiling Cat, srsly!!1!!! "
