Sunday, August 31, 2014
DIS IZ TEH LOL OLD TESTMENT REEDING
Numrz 32, vursz 1-13
Numrz 32, vursz 1-13
1 K, so da Reubenites and da Gadites, hoo haz vewy big flawks and hurds, saw dat da landz of Jazer and Gilead wuz gud for da sheepies and cowz. k?2 So dey goes to Moses and Eleazar da holycat preest and to da main gai in da communitie, and sayz,3 "Bunchez of craizy wordz den dey translaites:4 dis urf dat da Ceiling Cat givez to da kitties of Israel—iz gud for da sheepies and cowz, k? and yur servents haz sheepies and cowz.5 So den dey sayz "If da great Ceiling Cat likez us, den giv us dis urf cuz we dun wanna crawss de Jordan. We mite get wetz! Srsly!"
6 Den Moses sayz to da Gadites and Reubenites, "Shuld yur fello kittiez go to catfite whiel yu sits heer?7 Why do yu tell da Israelites dat dey can haz not go to de gud sunniland dat da Ceiling Cat haz given dem?8 Dis iz wut yur daddi cats haz did when ai sendz dem from Kadesh Barnea to lookz at de land.9 Aftre dey goez up to da Valli of Eshcol and seen da land, dey toldz da Israelites to not haz da land Ceiling Cat haz given to dem.10 Da Ceiling Cat wuz mad dat dai and he sayz:11'Becuz dey haznt follow me compleetli, not any of da kittiez dat are twenty years uld or moar and comez from Egypt will haz get to see de landz ai haz promise to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob-12 not any kittie beshides Caleb son of Jephunneh da Kenizzite and Joshua son of Nun, for dey two haz followd da Ceiling Cat compleetli. Srsly.'13 Da Ceiling Cat wuz mad wif Israel and he made dem wander in da desert for forty years, where da kitties has no watah, even to drinkz! Dis happend til all da bad old kitties had died from Ceiling Cat's aiez so he no moar haz to see dem. kthxbai bad kittiez, yu iz n00b.
